Fresh off the Ice

Descitions Made

*Listen to Call on Me by Starling*

I breathe in as I take in the smell of fresh clean sleek ice. I step onto the ice already my heart feeling content. I decided Kat was right. I am doing this for me and if I want to do better I would have to make it happen. I came back to my rink. The rink I feel myself.

The beat of the music and sound of the blades are the only thing I hear as I skate around the rink. The grinding of my blade in the fleshing zambonied ice is satisfying to my ears. As I do my edge work my feet can't help but move to the music. A smile ghosts my lips as I close my eyes and take in the feeling of the ice and the contentment. Me and the ice. This is all I need.

I skate but for me. I skate what I feel like. I jump when I want to jump. I fall and laugh about it before trying again. I become a new person. A person I lost. I lost to other people. No more. I will do what makes me happy. I will be me.

Over the next month, I train in my own time and avoid coach as much as I could. I ignore my parent's comments and make myself scarce. I deal with Mark but put him in his place when I need to. I see Kace when I'm practicing at 'my rink' but we don't talk maybe a friendly nod but I'm okay with that. I was focusing on me and I wasn't ready for him yet. My goal was one thing. Nationals.

.......

The time has come. I shake my legs and arms while twisting my head side to side. I look at a black curtain in front of me with my earphones in and skates securely tightened. I don't even pay attention to what music is blasting in my ears but I just let it distract me from the roaring audience and my competitor skating. This isn't about who was out there cheering or who was competing. No. This was about me enjoying what I do and improving myself. Showing the nation what I have been working on and what I've spent hours every week doing because I love it. It's about proving to myself that if I work my butt off and have a goal I can achieve it.

I feel my coach put a hand on my back indicating it was my turn to take the ice. I let out a nervous breath before pulling the curtain back and stepping out into the chatter of the crowd, smell of popcorn and the bright white ice.

My heart can't help but speed up at what is to come. I step up to the ice and take out my earphones. Now the ever loud sound of anticipation is deafening. I take off my guards and give it to my coach. He is saying something but I am just zoned out nodding. I pull the leotard of my dress out of my butt as I step onto the ice.

I move my feet back and forth looking at the ice like it will make me get more comfortable with it. It's a few seconds before my name is called. Suddenly a voice booms across saying my name. I look at my coach quickly and he gives me a nod before I head out onto the ice.

I push around the arena knowing this is my ice, my passion, my home. I take a big breath and get into position waiting for my music to start. To tell you my heart and nerves weren't going crazy standing there waiting for the start of my program, I would be lying to you. Very skater dreads the few seconds wait before your music starts. It's terrifying.

But once my music started I was brought back to the place of utter contentment. Your body takes over and you feel nothing but everything all at once. You feel your feet moving to the music yet you don't what comes next or what just was performed. You are in the moment. Your body and music collide. Every step rehearsed over and over.

My jumps come and go, my body ready for them. You spin for eternity but it's over all too soon. And before you know, there you are standing at the end of your program, chest heaving, crowd cheering, and heart rejoicing. I smile bowing before exiting the ice, proud of myself.

I hear the score, hug my coach, and take in the moment. Fourth. I got fourth at nationals. Most people would be disappointed in a place off the podium but I didn't mind. I worked hard and was proud of my progress. Now to go home and work even harder.

I take off my dress and skates and pack up everything. I walk out of the dressing room into the main area to meet up with my parents and coach. On the way, I get stopped by people for congratulations and compliments. I finally see my parents and coach standing talking.


I walk up to them. My mom sees me and squeals holding her arms out to me, "My baby! You did so well!!" My breath was knocked out of me as my mom squished me.

"Thanks mom." I say though it comes more out like a mumble. I finally get released and try to take in my surroundings after being in the dark for so long.

"Well, it wasn't a medal but pretty close." My dad says. I guess that was a compliment. Oh well I'll take it, "Next year it will be gold."

My coach speaks up this time, "Yes! And I'll put Chesa on a strict schedule. Plus with her fourth place, we can still get interviews and social media involved. We can defiantly move forward with this."

I couldn't believe them. They were discussing my future without even asking me. I had to put a stop to this.

"No." I say which puts both the sparkle in my parent's eyes and my coach smile off their faces.

"Excuse me?" My father asks.

"No. I won't do interviews. I won't skate or do anything when you tell me to do it. And I won't skate with him anymore." I point at my coach before crossing my arms holding up my defense. My fathers face turning angry while my mothers is more of confusing face.

"Young lady if you think..." My dad starts but I cut him off.

"I am turning eighteen next month and then I'm moving out. I am going to get a job and pay for my own skating. I am actually going to work and earn something for myself once in my life. Then I am going to skate for me when and if I feel like it. If I do well on the competitive stage then good and if I don't then that's fine too. I am going to do something I love and be happy." I state before I turn around and walk out away pretty confident with myself. I hear my dad call my name as I walk out of that arena but that didn't matter. And it didn't matter that for the next month I would be given the lecture by my parents all day every day. It didn't matter because in a month I would be right where I wanted to be. Free.