Chapter 34

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I hadn't slept anymore since I threw up last night. I couldn't stop thinking. When it was 7:00 I finally willed myself to get up and get a glass of water from the kitchen. I heard shuffling in the kitchen, so I assumed Adam and Taylor were up already.
When I walked in it was just Adam and he didn't hear me enter, as I was naturally light on my feet, until I opened the fridge to take out a water bottle.
"Jesus, you scared me." He said.
"Sorry."
"It's all good. Can I make you something?"
"No, thanks. Uh, is Taylor up?"
"Not yet. She hasn't been sleeping well while you were away. Now that she knows you're here and safe she can finally relax. I'm sure she'll be awake soon though."
"Okay." I nodded.
"Did you sleep okay?" Adam questioned looking at me over his shoulder as he was making something on the stove.
"Yeah."
"You sure? You just look really tired."
"I'm sure. It's the whole time change thing probably, but it's fine."
"You should go back to bed and try to get a few more hours in."
"I'm not tired, I just look it."
He scooped his mixture of food onto his plate after removing it from the stove. Adam set it down in front of himself across from me.
"So what did you do while you were gone?"
"Mission stuff, I can't talk about it."
"Confidential, if you tell me you'll have to kill me, right?"
I knew he was joking, but I shuttered.
"Are you alright?" Adam asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
I flinched when he moved towards me.
He gave me a weary look and held up his hands to show he wouldn't hurt me.
"Sorry, you caught me off guard."
"You're acting weird this morning, you know."
He moved his hand towards me again and touched the back of his hand to my forehead.
"You're burning." He said.
"Uh, yeah, I was a little sick last night, but I'm okay now. Please don't tell Taylor."
"You think she won't notice, come on." He scoffed.
"She'll worry and obsess about it. I'm not up for that right now."
"Well, what is it? Cold? Flu? You need to take something for the fever."
"Umm, I threw up once." I said.
"Hmm, sounds like the flu to me. You'll just have to take some Tylenol for your fever. Hang on, I'll grab you some."
He got up and left the room. I sat waiting for his return. I heard footsteps approaching, but they didn't sound like Adam's.
It wasn't, it was Taylor. She came into the kitchen and gave me a lazy smile.
"How long have you been up?" She asked.
"Umm, not too long."
I heard Adam's footfalls coming into the kitchen.
"Oh, good morning baby." He greeted Taylor entering the room.
"Morning." She said kissing him.
"What's the Tylenol for?" She asked.
"Uh..." Adam trailed off.
"Alex?" She asked turning to me.
"I was feeling ill last night and I guess I still have a fever." I said.
"Why didn't you come get me?" She asked.
Adam dumped out two pills and handed them to me.
"It wasn't a big deal." I shrug and chased the pills down with water.
"Do you think you got sick on your mission?"
"Maybe, it was cold there." I admit.
"Well, you should go lay down."
"I'm fine, really, I'm not that sick."
"Well, I don't know about you-"
"But I'm feeling 22!" Adam interrupted.
Taylor cracked up before continuing.
"I'm going to watch the two new episodes of Grey's Anatomy. I've been waiting for you to watch them."
"Aww," I jokingly put my hand over my heart.
She got a plate and put the remains off the food Adam made on it.
"What do you want to eat this morning?" She asked me.
"I'm not hungry."
"Well, you need to eat something so you can take your pill. How did you do with that while you were away? You look a bit thinner."
"It was crazy, I ate when I could, but I missed a few doses." I lied.
"Well, we will get you back on track. Is your stomach upset? Do you want some toast or something?"
"Uh, I guess I'll have some toast."
I wasn't hungry at all, but I didn't want Taylor to pester me about it. She got up to make it, but Adam stopped her.
"I'll make it babe, I'm done eating anyways." He said.
"Thanks, baby." She said.
"I didn't make any plans for today so you could just have the day to relax." Taylor said.
"Thank you for doing that."
I was grateful for that. It was really exhausting to go on long missions. I never usually got the time to unwind; it was always back to training the very next day.
Taylor and Adam went back and forth with playful banter that they occasionally dragged me into.
"Do you want jam on your toast or butter?" He asked me.
"Butter is fine."
"That's probably best if your stomach is upset." Taylor agreed.
He buttered the toast and put it on a plate before sliding it across the counter to me.
"I've got a session in the studio today, so I'll leave you ladies to it." Adam said.
"Okay, I'll see you after while." Taylor said as Adam kisses her cheek.
He gave me a pat on the back, "feel better." He said.
"Thanks."
"We should go shopping for some fall clothes before tour starts back up. It's October, so that also means pumpkin everything season and Halloween. There is a show on Halloween and I have my costume planned already. Do you have an idea on what you're going to be?"
"What?" I asked.
"Have you ever dressed up for Halloween before?"
"I don't remember."
Taylor looked sad.
"Well, we will figure out an awesome costume for you." She said.
"You're going to have to try a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. I know it's super basic, but it's really good and it only happens around this time every year. How about carving pumpkins? Have you ever done that?"
"I'm not sure, maybe when I was little."
"Well, we will for sure carve pumpkins." She smiled.
"Sounds cool."
"I love fall."
"It does sound pretty cool."
"Then there's Thanksgiving and Christmas, it's going to be fun! You do celebrate Christmas, right?"
"Uh, kind of. I'm pretty sure I did when I was a little kid."
"Cool, we can go pick out a Christmas tree and all of that! It's going to be great!"
I don't know if I'll be here still or not, but she was glowing as she went on about how excited she was to celebrate holidays with me. She went on about it for at least an hour before we went into the living room to watch Grey's Anatomy.
I wanted to focus on what was going on around me, but the thoughts in my head were so loud it was hard to function. There was no way Taylor could handle the baggage of knowing my thoughts so I didn't talk about them. I just needed to keep these thoughts inside and the emotional pain would eventually ebb away.

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