Protecting Taylor

Chapter 41

We got off the plane after long flight to New York. It was already afternoon time and Adam was waiting for Taylor at the airport. Happy birthdays had already been said on the plane from her parents and me. Taylor had numerous calls to the plane from friends and Adam and Austin to with her a happy birthday. When Adam saw her at the airport he wished her a happy birthday in person. She was super excited to be back in New York to celebrate her birthday. She was having a party tonight in her apartment to celebrate.
I was excited to give her the present I had gotten for her. She was in such a great mood today. She usually is, but today was just a very happy day for her. I loved seeing her bursting with joy. It was so bittersweet. I hated that I would have to take it away the next day. No matter how I felt, I had to put on a brave face and make Taylor believe everything was okay.

"Hello." I answered.
"Hello agent 113. How are things going?" My boss's voice comes through the phone.
"Things are going well, sir."
"It's time for you to come back."
My stomach drops instantly and I feel like I could pass out.
"Permanently?" I say in the most steady voice I can muster.
"Yes."
"When?"
"In one week."
I bite my lip to keep from tearing up. Taylor has talked about Christmas nonstop. We put up a tree and decorated the apartment as soon as we got back from her parents house after Thanksgiving. Taylor even got an artificial tree for my room. In our free time we've baked Christmas cookies, watched Christmas movies, and gone Christmas shopping together. I couldn't leave her before Christmas.
"Sir, can I please have two?"
The line goes silent. He's going to say no.
"Okay, but you will be retrieved no later than December 27th. You will not get that opportunity to make a request again."
"Yes, sir. Thank you."
He doesn't bother with goodbyes and instead leaves the line to go dead. I look to the jet and see Taylor standing outside waiting. I take a deep breath and will myself with everything in me not to show any sign of sadness. I couldn't ruin her birthday.
Once I feel like I'll be okay I walk towards the jet.
"Is everything okay?" Taylor asks.
"Yeah."
"Are you sure? Was it your agency?"
"It was. They were just checking in." I lie.
I was dying inside, but she bought that everything was okay and I let her.

We arrived at the apartment and her parents decided to stay the night so they could be in town for her birthday. Austin was already there and had flown in this morning. Arriving back to the apartment felt like numbly going through the motions of life. It was like everything was moving around me and I was frozen in time.
I went up to my room and sat on my bed trying to get myself together and snapped out of my daze. I paced and looked out the window. A knock of the door knocked me out of my thoughts.
"Can I come in?" Taylor asked.
"Yeah!" I called back.
The door opened and she walked in changed into a new outfit.
"Hey, are you okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, why?" I asked trying to play it cool.
"You just seem off. You're not really yourself today. Was it that phone call?"
My stomach dropped when she mentioned the phone call.
"No, I don't know what my deal is. Maybe I'm just worn out from traveling." I suggest.
"You've been taking your meds?" She questioned.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm good on all of that."
"Maybe you should try to take a nap?" She suggests to me.
"I should be okay. I don't really feel tired. It's weird." I laugh, but it sounds so unnatural to my ears and I hope is doesn't to hers.
"Maybe a shower would help. It might feel better to just get freshened up."
"Yeah, that's a good idea. I think I'll do that." I nod.
Taylor helps me decide on what to wear and I head into the bathroom to shower. I was failing miserably at hiding my distress. I don't know how I'm going to get back into the swing of things after how human I've become.
When I was all ready I went down stairs to find Gigi, Lily, Este, Alana, Danielle, Ella, Martha, Zendaya, Lena, Karlie, Serayah, Selena, and Cara. They all greeted me with hugs and talked about how crazy it was that Cara and I looked so similar. I've met her a few times and they point it out every time.
The night was such a blur and I was glad Taylor's friends were here to take some of the pressure off me to act normal. When it was time for Taylor to open her gifts I ran upstairs to grab my gift to her. She seemed surprised when I gave it to her.
She opened mine first and I watched anxiously to see her reaction. As soon as she saw it a smile spread across her face.
"Oh my god!" She exclaimed.
"What is it?" Selena asked.
Taylor turned it around to show everyone. It was a picture of us baking in the kitchen and the frame said, "you are my person" engraved in my handwriting.
"Come here." She told me.
I stood from my position on the couch and she gave me a big hug.
"That is so sweet. I absolutely love it; thank you so much! This is one of my favorite things ever." She said sincerely.
I smiled genuinely for the first time since the phone call. She put it next to her and opened her other gifts. Everyone got her really nice expensive presents, but I didn't feel like mine didn't measure up. Taylor seemed to like mine the best based on her reactions to other gifts. She was grateful for them, but she didn't seem as shocked by them.
We all had pizza and cake. Taylor and her friends enjoyed for cocktails. The party went on well into the a.m. hours. Scott and Andrea went upstairs around midnight to go to bed and I decided to go to bed about an hour after them. They begged me to stay and hangout, but I needed to get away from it all. I hugged Taylor and wished her a happy birthday before I went upstairs.
Once I got settled into bed, my emotions hit me in full force. The tears wouldn't stop and I felt like my chest was getting tighter and tighter. I was having a panic attack. I knew what to expect because I'd had them before. It still didn't make it a better experience for me though.
I got out of bed and opened my window to get some cold fresh air. My tears dried to my face in the cold. It helped me compose myself a bit though. After a while I had myself under control and got back into bed to attempt to get a little sleep tonight.
It sounded like the party had died down and I knew Taylor wouldn't be up anytime early in the morning. I finally got myself to sleep at 5:45 and knew my sleep wouldn't last long. The future sat on me like a ton of bricks.
I had to tell Taylor today and ruin her good mood. There was no part of me that could prepare myself for the upset I would see in Taylor as I told her what was going to happen. This will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I could kill people and beat people, but I couldn't hurt Taylor and it killed me that I had to.