Chapter 19: What They Want

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Waking up with dread filling my system, I tried to take my mind away from the fact that I may have to say goodbye to my mother, brother and best friend for the last time, that I may never see the person I love more than anything else again and that any plan I try and create May not work, and May land me in even more shit than I was in before.
I take a long shower, using the water as a way of relaxing my muscles as I go over it in my head again and again. If I am quiet and discreet enough, it may work. I only have a small chance though, just a small chance. Nathan might be proud of me, after he shouts at me for putting myself in danger, if I make it that far.
No! I think to myself as I get out of the shower, drying myself off. I cannot think like that, I have to be optimistic since hope is all I have left. My shaky hands fumble with the buttons on my shirt, causing the mundane task to become a challenge.
When dressed, with my make-up on my face appropriately and my hair tied up in a messy pony tail, I find myself looking at all of the family photos. The first one me and Ollie had together, when I was months old and he was a young toddler, holding his little sister, smiling widely at the camera.
The next, when I was only a baby, maybe one, and Ollie was holding my hand as we were on the beach. My mom told me that on that holiday, whenever we went close to the sea, he would hold my hand because he was scared I might get washed away. I laugh a little at that before moving to the next photo.
It's me and Ollie, playing around in the paddling pool my mom set up outside. I'm around eight and he is only ten, so I remember this well. I remember he splashed me a lot, and threw me into the pool over his shoulder. So I started splashing him and then I chased him out into the mud, so when we got back into the pool, it got dirty with grass and mud. Mom screwed at us, but we couldn't help but laugh.
The next one I look at is at my moms birthday party that we did as a surprise for her. I'm about fourteen and it's a photo of my mom, her arms around my shoulders and her hands holding mine in front of me. This is my favourite photo of us because I remember just before it was taken, my mom thanked me for the party and told me how she was so proud of me for growing up into a beautiful young lady. I remember being about to cry when they took the photo.
The next is at my sixteenth, when we had a meal at the house, just the three of us. It's all three of us, Ollie in the back with his arms around me and my mom, my mom and me holding hands. I smile, looking at it and thinking of how much it sums us up. We were together, always close, the three musketeers.
The next is at the beach, when Ollie gave me a huge bear hug, and I was laughing, not noticing my mom take the photo. I remember laughi so much I cried.
"Lily? Are you up? You have work today!" My mom shouts from downstairs, disturbing me front my trip down memory lane. I shake the sad thoughts away before walking downstairs, to meet my mom.
I'm dreading having to say goodbye to her again,but this time it might be for good.
"Hey sweetie, you ready to go?" She asks, and I nod, joining her in the kitchen.
"I love you mom, you've done so much for us, I don't think I could ever have thought of a better mother, thank you so much," I say, needing to say it out loud. She looks taken aback, asking me where all of this has come from.
"I was just looking at the family photos, at all the pictures of us when we were younger and I was thinking of how hard it must have been for you as a single mother, but I think you've done such an amazing job. I was just reminiscing and I never told you I loved you as much as I should have, I never thanked you enough, and I'm sorry but now I am," I whisper, hugging her tightly. She hugs me back, crying a little.
"I love you too sweetie, you and Ollie were the best things that happened to me, I'm so proud of my little girl," she says and I hug her again, before releasing her to go upstairs, where I needed to speak to Ollie. My mom had said that Steph could sleep one the spare room and no matter how much Ollie protested, she slept in the spare room.
I knocked on his door and saw that when he opened it, he was in his pyjamas, playing his Xbox. Such a child sometimes.
"Hey Rosie what's up?"
"Thank you," I blurt out and he smiles, looking confused.
"What'd I do?"
"Everything, when dad left," I say and watch as his features harden," you became my father, brother and best friend. You worked harder than anyone else to provide for this family, when you shouldn't have had to. You are the best big brother I think I could ever want and I love you so much Ollie, I don't say it enough," I say and a single tear falls from my eye. Shit.
"Hey, it's okay, I loved doing that for you, I love you too Rosie, you're my beautiful, smart lil sis that I'm so proud of," he says, wrapping his huge arms around me. I know I shouldn't do this, I should be acting normal, like there is nothing wrong, but I have to say my goodbyes, I can't just leave it.
"Bye," I say as I leave shutting his door and wiping my tears. Then, almost perfectly timed, my phone rings and it's Nathan. I breathe a little before I answer.
"Good morning baby," he says, his voice deep and husky with tiredness.
"Good morning," I reply and hear the smirk on his face.
"Why don't I pick you up after work? We can get something to eat, I just really want to see you, I miss you so much," he laughs but even though I would love to say yes, I have to meet my stalkers then, so I find an excuse.
"I would love to, I miss you so much too, but Ollie is picking me up right after work, I can't, but I'll see you soon," I try and hear him sigh.
"You have no idea how much I miss you though, I hate sleeping here without you, it's cold," he complains, making me laugh a little.
"I'll be there to warm you up soon, I promise, I have to go," I say and wait for his reply.
"When will I next hear from you?"
"I'll ring you after work, when I'm in the car, don't forget okay?" I ask, praying it works.
"Okay, I'll be thinking about it all day, goodbye beautiful," he says and I say good bye as well, hoping what he said is true. Hoping he will answer.
I leave the house, saying to my mom and brother one last time, leaving Steph to continue her sleep. Then, I make my way to work.

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