Not so Married [MxM]|√

Part 33.

Miller couldn't sleep the following night. Whether it was because he got use to the comfort of being at Carl's side. The loneliness that washed over him or the fact that his thoughts were all over the place.

He felt a urgency to be near Carl. Miller had grown to realize his feelings though he would never accept it. He wouldn't accept it because Paris was still in the picture, a wedding was about to happen. His feelings were insignificant compared to all of that. 

There wasn't even a plan anymore. The moment he started feeling comfortable with Carl. The moment he started admiring him. Yes, he was bossy and rude at first and Miller thought he was that way with him for a reason. He was also rude and hostile towards him too for his own reasons. But as Carl started to break his shell, show Miller how kind yet broken he is. He began to like all of him. The good, bad and in between. Thinking back it was fun, how they made witty comebacks at each other.

Bickering came natural as breathing to them.

All his revenge plot was for nothing. He failed but he didn't feel like he did. He no longer cared about Paris. As he looked at the white ceiling he cared about Carl. He would leave when all this was over, leave the office and whine to Eric about all his pent up emotions. That would be fine, everything would be fine.

Carl was taking the step in accepting Cameron. Their relationship was improving. Eric was getting somewhere with Cameron. Paris was going to get married despite Miller's futile attempt to stop it. In the end what did he get. Unrequited Love? All that was left for him to do was move on afterwards.

Miller wasn't going to do what Paris did. Marry another person. Him marrying Carl, the idea was crazy itself. Yes, he wanted to break them up but love wasn't apart of the plan. None of this was. Did he love Carl? He knew his heart would race, his cheeks burning red, a longing and that he could be himself.

Miller checked the time. Six in the morning and he hadn't slept a wink. He got off his bed and walked towards his door. It was early but he would do it anyways.

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Carl placed the journal in the drawer. He's read it countless tines throughout the night. It was still unbelievable how his mother left such an important thing to Cameron. He decided on giving him that chance. The chance for them to get to know each other.

During dinner he found out that he was indeed caring and kind as his mother said. It will take some getting use to Cameron being his brother for real. One step at a time as Miller said. His best friend gawking at Cameron not hiding the fact that he was infatuated with him.

Miller on the other hand was lost in thought. Carl had allowed him to read the journal, making him get a glimpse of what his mother is like. Was it too much for him to handle perhaps. When Miller headed for his own room afterwards Carl knew something was up. He thought -- no he wanted for Miller to return with him. Stay by his side. To think he would long for Miller more than his own fiancé. As he sat on his bed thinking if Miller was asleep. He heard a knock on the door.

Looking at the time realising it was only six in the morning. He got up and opened the door. Carl wanted to dive straight in his arms but he couldn't. He stood calmly and eyed Miller. He was still in his pyjamas, a coat to cover him up and boots neatly fitted on his feet. Even in such simple clothing and early mornings Carl still found him to be dashing.

"Let's go" Miller said causing Carl to raise a curious brow.

Miller stepped inside, taking one of Carl's coat and handing it to him. "Wear this. The morning is quite cold"

He was caring for Carl. Smiling like a fool he put on the coat. "Are we going somewhere?" Carl found the need to ask.

"We're going for a ride" Miller said, walking back towards the bedroom door.

Carl followed him. Not questioning where they were going. As long as he was with Miller he didn't care. He noticed how lost Miller was when he looked in his eyes. He was worrying over something. They silently left the house, taking Miller's car. It was less fancier than any of Carl's but he knew Miller loved the car. 

The sun peaked over the mountains. Lighting the world for a new day. Carl felt unsettled as the drove to the destination. The scenery looked familiar. As the buildings got less they were surrounded by tall trees. The sun fully up and lighting the way. The morning was no longer cold, being filled with warmth. Carl looked Miller, his gaze fixated on the road.

"Where are we going?" Carl broke the silence. His question was answered by a huge metal gate with beddings of flowers along the walls. "How did you know" this was the cemetery his mother was buried in. He didn't recall telling Miller about it.

"I asked Cameron" he replied as he got out of the car.

Carl didn't have the time to visit. He wanted to, with the wedding plans and Cameron showing up. It didn't allow him the chance to visit. As he stood before his mother's grave he had so much to say. The words couldn't leave his mouth.

"You didn't get a chance to visit right" Miller said, placing a bouquet of flowers down.

"Thank you" Carl said, rubbing his hands over his mothers engraved name over the tombstone-- Ruth. "Mom, I'm sorry I didn't live up to your promise. I finally met with Cameron. I'm giving him that chance. I'm going to start living and be happy" he looked at Miller. "For the both of us"

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Carl's feet sunk in the sand as he walked along the beach. Small waves crashing on his feet as he moved along. The wind brushed against his skin, finding its way inside his coat as he clung to it for warmth. It's been awhile since he got a taste of the salty sea air. They were clouded in silence again. Miller walking ahead of him.

The gestured warmed Carl's heart that Millet would bring him to see his mother. He thought he would take them home afterwards. Miller stopped and turned around. As the wind blew between the two picking up a few grains of sand and the tension between the two.

"I'm leaving" Miller said.

"What do you mean leaving" Carl said, closing the distance between them.

"It means what it means Carl. I'm leaving the company, your house" Carl noticed the sadden expression on his face.

"You don't mean that" Carl felt his heart sunk. He didn't want to believe Miller's words.

"I mean it Carl. There nothing here for me anymore"

Carl crashed his lips onto Miller's. Kissing him with all his longing, passion and love. He didn't have to deny it anymore he loved Miller. The man who understands him the most, gotten through thick and thin with him yet still truly smiled at him. Before he knew it he was in love with him.

It took a moment but Miller fell into the kiss. Feeling all the exchange if emotions between them he too found his answers but he was still worried. Carl held Miller's face not daring for him to break away. Miller's hand found its way in Carl's hair. The kiss was beyond anything they felt as their tongue dangled in heat. This was a taste of love.

Pulling way to catch their breaths Carl stared in to Miller's eyes. "Miller I lov--"

"No" Miller said, watching as Carl buried his face in the crook of his neck. "Please don't say it"

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