Curse Words «» Oney X Reader

/16/

I woke up on the couch. My back hurt and I was warm. I sat up and cracked my neck before turning around to face the window to see what was going on. There was some construction across the street the noon sun shone through the curtains. I yawned.

No one was home, that was for certain. It was Monday, and Matt and Ryan both had to edit the extra weekend work that might have gone on. I sat up for a little while before getting up and walking around the kitchen searching for something to chew on.

I felt strange, like something had happened that I liked but I didn't remember. I picked up my phone and saw three missed calls from Ryan and a text from Chris. I called Ryan first.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked when he picked up the phone.

"I just woke up, what's up with you?"

"Just trying to shoot myself but Matt keeps getting in the fuckin' way" he snickered. Matt sounded a muffled laugh from wherever they were and I laughed myself. I sighed and thought.

"So are we going to go shopping when you get back?" I asked.

"Don't say it like that. We're going buying, not shopping" he scoffed. I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, Chad. Still, are we? I have a few places in mind that are close to somewhere to eat"

"Sounds great! See you then. Bye"

"See you, Ry" I smiled, hanging up the phone. I didn't do anything else for a while. My cheeks were heating up thinking about both of them. I was ashamed, but probably not as much as I should have been.

I finally moved to the messages and was a little shocked to see such a long message from Chris.

9 pm

Chris - I miss you like a lot. ding dong is laughing at me because i miss you. i miss u. well you forgive me? i was really stupid and i regret doing whatever i did because i really like you wait no i think i love you. i hate ryan.

Chris - no i dont. dont tell him i hate him because i dont. im just mad because hes way better than me and will get you way easier than i will. im sorry. i miss you.

11 pm

Chris - I hate myself more than I could hate anyone else. I'm a selfish prick who wants you all to myself and I'm not afraid to say it. I really really like you. I really really really love you. There is no one else I would rather be with. Ryan is better than me and I can't deny that. He's known you longer and knows what you want and need. I have no idea what any of that is. I want to impress you and make you mine but I don't think my dopey ass can do that in a week. I regret leaving when you and Ryan were fighting and I regret trying to take him away from you. I regret sending those texts not to long ago because drunk me likes to tell the truth. I do miss you. I miss you more than you can ever think of and being apart from you for just one minute feels like I'm losing air.

Chris - I'm going to get drunk again and try to forget I ever sent this

Chris - But I still really hope you get it

I bit my lip and put my phone down. I wasn't going to try to respond because nothing I was going to say was going to compare to that. His words made my heart melt and sink at the same time if something like that was even possible.

Who was I kidding? I was going to text him back.

Me - hey Chris

Me - I got it. I just got it.

I didn't want to go right out and say I loved him even if that was the truth. I didn't want to tell him he wasn't wrong because in some aspects he was. I just waited.

Chris - Hey, Y/n

Me - I don't really know what to say if I'm being completely honest with you

Chris - I don't either. But I know it was pathetic

Me - no! It wasn't pathetic at all! I actually really needed it

He didn't answer for a few minutes. My mind immediately assumed the worst, so I got up and paced the room, my phone left on the counter.

This was big. This was huge. This was my future.

I needed to tell Chris how I felt now or I was going to go back home and not see him again. Or for a while at least. Still, it was a change.

What would Ryan say? Would he be heartbroken or angry or.. would he not even care?

I picked up my phone.

Me - Chris I really do love you. I love you with all my heart and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know if wasn't you talking last night or it was, but I want everything for us that you want. I want it bad. You might be a selfish prick, but so am I. And yeah, Ryan won't be to happy, and I won't be happy if he isn't, but we can figure it out. We can figure it out. I want to figure it out.

Chris - I love you