Tear In My Heart ✔️

VII. Keys (edited)

"How did it go with Gracie?" Nonna asked as I walked into the kitchen and dropped my keys into the key bowl.

"It was fine," I honestly said as I sat across from her at the kitchen table where she was reading a newspaper. "We had fun and she found a book by her favorite author who also happens to be coming here next Wednesday for a Q and A along with a book signing. I told her I'd take her."

"That was awfully nice of you," Nonna complimented as she turned the page, her eyes eagerly taking in the information from the ancient pages.

"It's really no problem," I said, brushing it off as I stood up. "I'm tired. I think I'm going to turn in for the night."

"Buona notte. Ti voglio bene (goodnight, I love you)," she said as she finally looked up from her paper.

"Ti amo (I love you)," I threw over my shoulder before I hurried down the hall and into my room, shutting the door behind me before I reached into the comically deep pocket of my sweatshirt and pulled out the book I'd bought, glad that I'd been able to smuggle it in unnoticed by my Nonna. I placed it on my bed before I stripped down to my boxers and slid on a pair of pajama pants. I climbed on my bed and sat criss-cross, holding the sacred book in my hands.

For some reason, I felt bad–guilty even for holding the book. My heart started racing for some unknown reason as if I'd just finished a jog. My phone suddenly buzzed on the bedside table and it was none other than the very person that had me questioning every aspect of right and wrong.

Madison (21:19): My father won't be at the shop tomorrow. He's a bit sick but don't worry. I'll keep u company ;P

I rolled my eyes, though I couldn't help but smile at Madison's odd use of old emoticons.

Me (21:21): Just keep your hands to yourself, mister.

I hit send on the lame text before I silenced my phone and placed it on the nightstand, hoping to find sanctuary within the pages of the book in my hand. I cracked open the book and hungrily took in the words on the page, a weird feeling filling my chest as Elio describe emotions that I too had felt when I was around my "Oliver". Besides the apricot thing, but to each their own I guess.

Before long though, a yawn was pulled from my lips and my eyelids became heavy. Rather than deny my body its inalienable right to the bliss known as sleep, I used my receipt as a bookmark and set it on my bedside table underneath my phone. I resisted the urge to check my phone and see if Madison had responded. I simply stretched out in a starfish position in my bed and like a spider, I let sleep capture me in its web of dreams and fantasies and swallow me whole. 

***

"Wow, Noah. I'm thoroughly impressed, and that's saying a lot because you already have an impressive portfolio. It's very good," Mr. Hill said as he slid me back my computer.

"Thanks, Mr. H. I'm thinking about putting it in my collection to give to the school," I said taking my computer back with a smile on my face.

"You definitely should," he said as he leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee. "But I also think you should write about who you are. You know, your struggles, your confusion, your success, what makes you happy. Stuff like that so they know the real Noah and not a superficial Noah based on your writing, you get what I mean?" I nodded in response. "Now don't get me wrong, all of your pieces that you've shown me are great, but none of them gives me a feel for who you are. If I didn't have you as a student I'd think you were a thirty-five-year-old man who's had a ton of life experiences that aged him an extra five years or so, and in some aspects that's good, but in others, it's not." He paused and took another sip of his black coffee. "You just don't want to write yourself into a box, that's all I'm saying."