Tear In My Heart ✔️

XV. Confessions (edited)

I could hear the music booming from Henry's house half a block away, the bass so deep that it made my seat vibrate. "Ugh, do I have to be the DD?" Connor groaned as he parked the car. "I mean, Abbi's out of town and I need at least a little something to distract me from all the people making out against the walls and grinding on each other and–"

"I can assure you that I'm doing much worse. Come on," I snapped, cutting off his pointless whining. He looked at me, a flash of shock moving across his eyes and I instantly felt bad. It wasn't his fault that I was forced to break up with my boyfriend nor was it his fault that he was hopelessly in love with his girlfriend, but the hole in my chest just above my heart was still raw and hearing him talk about his girlfriend who he could go back to was adding salt to my wound. Thankfully he didn't press any further nor did he openly hold my uncharacteristic outburst again me as we exited the car and headed toward the house. Colorful lights leaked out of the windows that changed color with the beat and I was already getting drunk off the air.

As soon as I opened the door, drunken greetings filled the air and I received multiple claps on the back. It'd been a while since I'd last been to a party. People instantly started bombarding me with questions and requests for drinking games, which I gave basic nonchalant answers to before I allowed myself to be led to the bar which was filled with multiple drinks and snacks. I poured myself a couple drinks, feeling the tension slowly start leaving my body as the memories of the day began blurring and burying themselves deeper and deeper within my mind until I could barely remember my own name. "Come on, Noah," a guy named Harvey drunkenly said as he messily looped his arm with mine. "I've got some *burp* amazing drinking games I think you'll *burp* dominate in."

"Lead the way," I slurred as I stumbled with him toward the main room where people were dancing, making out, and drinking.

"Alright, so you play the game by..."

The night flew by as I played game after game, took shot after shot, made bad decision after bad decision. But at least I couldn't remember why I needed to get so drunk, so I guess that was a plus.

After forty-five minutes or so of drinking games, I was so drunk that I could barely stand up straight. "And then my Nonna got her cane and threw it at the bird so that it would let the little unicorns go free in their magical field of potatoes," I drunkenly slurred to Connor, causing him to laugh as he shook his head.

"I don't think that's how French fries are made, dude. I think it's time to cut you off." He grabbed my drunk and placed it on the table out of my reach.

"Hey, that's mi-" I started as I made an attempt to get my cup back, but couldn't finish my sentence due to me tripping and nearly busting my head open against the wall.

"Woah man. I'm definitely cutting you off. Come on, you need to get yourself together," Connor said before he effortlessly slung my arms over his shoulders and started leading me up the stairs, only offering a few grunts.

"Am I heavy? Am I a heavy, big boy?" I slurred before I started uncontrollably laughing. I'm funny. I'm a funny, big boy. Boy. I had a boy. His name was Madison. But his butthead of a dad broke us up. I frowned. He was a big boy too. A funny, super hot, big boy and I missed him a lot. I needed more alcohol.

"Connor, I need more alcohol. I still remember him," I groaned as Connor led me into a bedroom and threw me on the bed, causing me to groan as I slipped onto the hardwood floor.

He laughed before he hurriedly picked me up and put me back on the bed. "Sorry about that bro. But that was kind of hilarious."

"Shut up before I throw my Nonna's cane at you and make you dance with the unicorns and potatoes. Now get me some more booooozzzzeeeee."