Tear In My Heart ✔️

Visitors (Bonus) (edited)

Madison's POV

My heart was hammering out of my chest as we rode the elevator up to the seventh floor. Conflicting emotions battled for dominance in my mind–grief, anger, hatred, all of the above? My heart was starting to hurt. I just wanted to go back home to my kids.

"Madison, babe, you alright?" Noah gently asked beside me, his hand gently brushing against mine.

I scoffed and shook my head. "Not at all."

"Look, I know it's not easy but we're only here as long as you want to be. Not as long as he wants us here, remember that." I nodded, grateful for Noah's presence as we continued our slow ascension.

"I just want to hold Emerson and Adryan," I admitted, my arms aching for the two newest additions of our family. We'd found two surrogates, Noah's named Rachel and mine named Jayden, who delivered our beautiful daughter Emerson and son Adryan respectively. Holding them relaxed me and made me feel whole. Addison and Azealia instantly fell in love with them as well. We'd somehow ended with the perfect boy to girl ratio, a rare but greatly appreciated occurrence. And though they were far too big to carry them like the little babies they were what felt like yesterday, I still enjoyed wrapping my arms around them. I did it with all my kids, much to Addy and Azzy's disdain, especially because they were teenagers.

Crazy.

"Me too," Noah confessed. "But we'll get back to them in due time. I think they need some time away from us in the real world. We spoil them too much."

I chuckled. "I guess we do," I agreed as the elevator doors slid open, instantly sucking all playfulness and relaxation out of me like a vacuum.

"It's going to be okay, Mads," Noah gently comforted as we stepped out of the elevator ad another family walked in, a man, a woman, and presumably their sleeping son in the woman's arms. "Do you need a breather before we go in there?"

I shook my head. If I gave myself any leeway I'd never see him and I needed to. For my sake.

Noah nodded in understanding before he took my hand in his and gave me a reassuring squeeze. As we walked the halls, the sharp odor of cleaning products and other hospital aromas filled my nose reminding me of the day Noah had been in the hospital all those years ago, unconscious and bruised. The memories made me hold onto him tighter. Even though it had happened almost twenty years ago, the memory was still fresh in my head as if it had happened mere moments ago.

I swallowed as we approached his room that had his name written on it. I made a move to open the door, but as soon as I reached for it, it opened, causing me to quickly retract my hand as a woman who looked to be in her late thirties backed out of the room, pulling a cart with her that held seemingly untouched food. She jumped a bit when she realized that we were there. "Oh, you gave me a fright! I didn't see you there," she said, her voice cheery and light, two things that dead hospitals like the one we were standing in desperately needed. "Well hello, you two. Is one of you Madison?"

"That would be me," I said.

She smiled. "I could tell, you look like him. He's been talking about seeing you all day. He's really excited." I let out a nervous chuckle as she moved her cart out of the doorway and beckoned for us to follow her before she walked in. I looked at Noah who nodded and gave me another reassuring squeeze as if silently reminding me that it was my choice and that he'd stand by me no matter what I chose. I took a deep breath as we walked in behind her as she said, "Brandon? You have two visitors here to see you." As soon as we rounded the corner I saw him, though I barely recognized him.

My dad, but he didn't look like it.

He was sickeningly thin and all of his hair had vacated his head. He looked so weak like he would break if you shook his hand too hard. Like he would blow away with the slightest gust of wind. My gut wrenched and conflict churned within me, especially as he looked at me with such joy and happiness in his eyes.