Chapter 49

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POPPY

I sat there thinking about what Poppy just told me. Harry feels guilty. Damn right he should. He done this to me. He done this to us. I know that he tried to stop me from knowing and tried stopping Zayn but that still doesn't mean anything. Maybe it does a little. He tried to stop everything but it still happened. He still lied to me. Used me. And broke me. 

He broke me.

I decided I was going to write to all of them. I wouldn't be able to tell them everything because I am still planning on dying but I know they deserve some sort of speech so I'm going to write them each a letter each.

***********(5-10 minutes later)************

Suddenly I was snapped out of my thoughts by someone knocking.

"Hello?" I asked and in walked Louis.

LOUIS

"I can't go in here" Harry said

"What? Why?" I asked and he looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"I caused this to her!" He nearly shouted putting his head in his hands.

"Let me go in next then, then you have to go see her. I'll give you more time to think about what to say." I said and then slowly got up and walked over to Poppy's room door.

I knocked and slowly walked in when I heard her say hello.

"Hey" I said as I slowly closed the door. I saw envelopes in front of her all sealed. What were they?

"Hi." She replied putting all the letters in a pile and pointing to the chair in her room, to sit down.

"How you been?" I asked

"Honestly?" she asked and I nodded. "Like shit." She chuckled and I joined in.

"Bit of a stupid question wasn't it?" I chuckled

"Yea it was" She chuckled back.

"We didn't want you to come in here poppy, but-"

"But my parents signed me up because they didn't want to look after me, yea I know. Penelope told me." She said bluntly and I nodded slowly. "You don't need to tell me about Harry ether because Penelope told me how he feels guilty and blames hisself. Even if Zayn was most of it. That he tried to stop him from doing it and from me knowing. I know it all okay." She said and I sighed.

"Do you know he loves you?" I said and she looks down.

"He doesn't." She simply said and I sighed again.

"Poppy as much as you want to believe that you have to face reality and know its true. He loves you more than anything. I've known him for years and I've never seen him be like this, especially with a girl. Poppy you're something special to him. If he loses you I don't know what he will be like. He'll be in hell that's for sure. You can't do this to him Poppy. He loves you so much, please see reality and believe that." I said and she looked at me with tears in her eyes but she looked angry too.

"Reality? You want me to see reality?! This is reality Louis! Reality is hell! Reality is when people are hypocrites and say shit that isn't true! Reality is a cruel world! Reality tears people apart and that's what reality has done! It's teared me apart! You think I'm living in a little happy world!? Think again Louis! I am living in hell! This is why I want to die! This world sucks! This world takes people for granted! Reality Sucks!" She said and breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry okay. Yes this life is cruel and sucks but you're strong enough to live through it Poppy. Not only for Harry but for me, for Penelope, for the other boys, please."

"I can't. I've been strong to long and its my time to break and to be gone." She said and I sighed knowing I'm not going to change her mind.

"I'm sorry Poppy but I love you as a sister obviously" I said and she sighed

"Louis can you do me a favour?" She asked and I nodded standing up. "Can you give these to everyone." She said handing me the letters I saw when I first walked in. I nodded and took them into my hands. "But Louis?"

"Yea?" I asked

"Tonight when you're alone read your letter first, in there it should tell you when to give everyone their letters okay, promise me you will do that?" She said and I nodded.

"I promise Poppy." I said and then walked out and to the boys and Penelope. I put the letters folded in my pockets so they wouldn't see them and then sat next to Harry.

"Go on Haz, you can do it" I said and he nodded before slowly standing up and walking towards Poppy's door.

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