What happened to Amanda? A Law & Order SVU Fanfic

Practice What You Preach

Warning: descriptions of physical and sexual violence.

Amanda wasn't aware of her surroundings completely, she had decided to zone out when the new nurse started the rape kit. Although impossible to block out the physical pain she was experiencing, from the wounds and various tubes coming out of her that sent a throbbing pain through her body every time she moved, she wanted to take herself as far away from this situation as possible.

She could feel Liv's left hand resting on her back, and her right hand was captured tightly within Amanda's own. That she was sure of. She squeezed her eyes tighter than they already were at the sound of an unfamiliar voice.

'Amanda.' It said from the distance. 'Amanda, open your eyes.'

Open your eyes. She knew John had wanted her to keep her eyes open when he was raping her, or else he would get the other guys involved. When she hadn't opened them last time, he had hit her in the face.

'Amanda, open your eyes for me.' The voice repeated, closer this time.

She had learnt what to expect from disobeying John's orders by now, quickly taking her hands, one still holding Liv's, and bringing them up to her face. She began to cry hysterically as she repeated the same sentence over and over.

"P-please don't hurt me..." She sobbed, "I promise... I promise you can do what you want, b-but please stop hitting me..." She trailed off as her words were drowned by her tears.

Liv meanwhile had been watching concerned as the nurse had tried unsuccessfully to get Amanda's attention. When she felt her hand quickly being brought to Amanda's face and saw how scared Amanda really was, she quickly wrapped her arm around her, careful of the tube to drain her punctured lung.

"Shh... Shh... It's okay Amanda, it's just the nurse... No one's going to hurt you... You're safe..." She said in a soothing tone. She took her hand from Amanda's grasp and lightly took the side of her face, bringing it close to her chest.

The nurse who had been trying to give Amanda the medications to prevent STIs and pregnancy backed away from the detective. She had quickly realised that Amanda was very afraid of whoever had done this to her, and didn't want to make her feel overwhelmed when she finally did open her eyes.

Amanda was startled slightly at the noise and vibration of a heartbeat close to her ear. The last time this had happened, it had been John holding her close so she couldn't escape. She didn't know how to get out of this one. She was oblivious to the voices trying to get her attention, only aware of the heartbeat. She listened carefully to the steady rhythm that it had - very different to how she remembered John's.

What if it wasn't John? She hadn't recognised the voice to be his. Just that it had asked her something that he had. They hadn't hit her yet for disobeying them... Was it him? She decided to check, so slowly brought her hands away from her face and opened her watery eyes.

Rather than seeing the large bald man that she feared so greatly, she was met by the worried gaze of a woman in hospital uniform. She let out a sigh of relief, followed by a reduced flow of tears. She shifted her gaze to see who was holding her, finding the face of her Lieutenant.

She slowly sat up, moving her eyes to the floor, not saying a word.

The nurse gave a sympathetic smile to the detective, she knelt down so she was in Amanda's line of sight.