The Idiot

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

I woke up at my normal time the next morning, but I didn't move from my spot. I don't see the point anymore to work my ass off, when I'm not even welcomed on the team.

Instead of doing that, I just laid there and stared out of the window. I don't want to get up and face everyone. I know that I will have to, but I don't want to.

Time seemed to speed up to six a.m., marking the time that I should get up and take my morning shower. Normally, I try to hop in and out, but today, I stayed in way longer than need be.

Slowly, I got out of the shower and threw on a random pair of jeans and a non-hockey related t-shirt. I didn't care how I looked. Why does it matter if my hair is a mess and I look like a slob?

When I made my way downstairs, everyone was already around the table eating. I grabbed a thing of yogurt and a spoon before I sat away from my family at the bar. Every once in a while, I would hear them laugh at something, but I didn't contribute or listen to what was being said.

After I finished my yogurt, I didn't move from my spot until Patrick appeared on the other side of the counter. "Winter?"

"Yeah," I said twirling the spoon in my fingers.

"I just explained to your brothers that Coach Serry will bring you guys home tonight after practice. I'm traveling for my game, tomorrow, around noon, and Amanda has work."

I shrugged, gloomily at the news. Patrick seemed to notice. "Winter, I heard the news. Do you want to talk about it?"

I didn't react to the question, and he grabbed my empty container and threw it away without another word.

The first half of the day, I struggled to pay attention to anything going on in the world. At lunch, I sat a table away from the hockey guys. During lunch, Jamie came over multiple times, but I just pretended that he didn't exist so he would go away.

The fifth time that he came over I finally said. "When did you find out?" The question has been burning in my mind for couple hours.

I heard him take in a sharp, deep breath. "I overhear the coaches talking on Tuesday last week."

"And you didn't tell me? You didn't think to tell your girlfriend about something as important as this!"

"When they were talking it was more a what if than we are going to do. I honestly didn't think that they would bench the best player in Chicago."

"Complements won't help you."

"I'm not trying to help myself. I understand that you're pissed, but I don't get why you are with me."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Just go. I don't want to see or talk to you right now."

"I'm sorry," he said getting up and went to join his teammates at his table.

At practice, I stood next to the coaches wearing what I wore to school earlier not saying too much. I took some orders about running some drills, but that was basically it. To me, it was utterly boring and pointless for me to be there.

Several times I noticed Jamie looking at me from across the ice, but I ignored him, even if it was very hard for me to do.

After practice, I threw my skates in my bookbag before I sat against the wall in the main entrance of the building waiting for everyone to leave.

Instantly, I started my music while I watched many guys trekked past and out of the doors. It seemed like forever for Jamie and my brothers to make their way here. The three of them talked on the other side of the room.

I could care less if he was talking with them. His actions speak louder than words, that's for sure.

Song after song, I waited there with my head laying against the wall.

When Coach Serry finally appeared, it was a solid thirty to forty-five minutes after the boys appeared. I turned my music off as the four of us followed him.

In the car, I was squeezed between my two brothers.

"How long will Patrick be out of town?" Coach asked to make conversation.

"He only has one away game this trip, but he should be gone all next week, going on a trip to the East," William answered quickly.

This was news to me as well. I didn't pay that close attention to his life to know that he's going on a trip next week.

"What teams are they playing?"

"Lightning, Panthers, Caps, Sabers."

The four guys talked NHL hockey the whole ride to the house. I wasn't in the mood to weight into the conversations.

I was so happy when we pulled into the driveway. Once I could, I grabbed my things and sprinted to my room.