Secret words [ Lee Donghae FF ]

11. The truth

if you were me what would you have done !

my legs didn't obey me and they kept walking in roads i didn't know and my heart kept cursing at my faith and destiny for this life and for everything .

after hours of crying and blaming every single molecule of my existing and wishing to end it all at that moment , i come  to realize that there is nothing i can do , the pain will be always there and what happened it's already done and i can do nothing to change it , so now i have two  solution the first is to accept the reality  and believe in what that evil women told me and leave everything behind me and go , the second one was to go back there and find out the truth myself , and i chose the later because one thing i have learned in this misery  is to take my life in my hands and and deal with it so i can have no regrets later .

when i checked my phone it was already 11 pm and 56 missed call from donghae , he must be going crazy now because he couldn't reach me , i am sorry donghae i had to, i needed to clear my thoughts .it's a huge weigh and i had to carry it all alone .

i opened my door and get in barely moving my lgs , destroyed and out of any desire to live yet i did come back .my phone was buzzing i picked the phone to see Donghae's name 

"hell-"

"where the fuck were you" he screamed the second i picked up

"i - i am at my apertment now"

"stay where the fuck are you i am coming" and he hanged up on me. i was too exhausted to think about it .

after like 5 minet my door bel ringed , now way that could be him , i just spoke with him like few minutes ago, its true his house  is not that  far from mine  yet no way he could be here that soon ,unless he flew here !!

the second i opened the door he hugged me so hard almost choking me 

" i almost gone crazy when you didn't pick up the phone , don't do it again baby " 

he barely could catch his breath and his hands were cold ,

" what happened where were you ? why didn't answer my calls ?" 

he asked me and he was holding my face in both his hands and a worried look in his eyes , his eyes were almost shaking in fear .

our eyes met and i just stared at him wishing he can feel the pain in my heart and understand all i was going through at that moment , i wished he can know it all without me saying a word  i wished 

i moved his hands and walked away without saying anything , he stood there confused ,

" y/n what is ? just talk to me ok !"

i walked to my room not paying any attention to him, he followed me there and grabbed my forearm and turned me to face him , i raised my eyes tiredly to him seeing fear and puzzlement in his .

" y/n you better tell me now what's wrong or i will start losing my patience really soon"

sight " i had a little meeting with your cousin"  

his eyes winded and and he grabbed my other arm really firmly

" y/n are ok? did she do anything to you ?  TELL ME DID SHE HURT YOU ?" 

" relax i am ok she didn't do anything i am ok !!"

"no way that crazy bitch didnt do anything , i know better , then she must've  said something !! what did that little snack tell me !! please y/n whatever she said don't believe her she is crazy , i am sure you met her and you know by now how she is "