stardust | ✔

xlvi.

'LAST MORNING'

it was late in the night--no early in the morning. or maybe it was late in our hearts, early in our heads. 'cause we've been waiting years for this part, but our heads still screamed for caution: 'too soon!'.  

it was 5 am. and you were making coffee, because you're an idiot who does everything except sleep. not that i minded standing in the small kitchen, waiting for the black brew to boil, whilst standing a few cells away from you...

and our heads, or well mine, was all drowsy. our hearts ached. our hair was sticking out from every angle but the right one. the smell of fresh brewed coffee lingered around us. it was warm, but it was cold. it felt safe, yet it felt bold, to be in this position. was this all too fast? was this all too soon? were we even supposed to be standing like this before noon, why this early, but why this late? what were we doing? could we have another take, at this scene, could it be erased and redone? 

cheeks reddening from shyness of the close bond that we were creating at this hour. hands twitching, fingers wanting to pull the others' body just a little closer. our lips forming something intimate...like a secret that we held just between the two. 

we were breathing each other in, holding the small space that was left between our fingers. but our aching hearts pulled harder. and the need, the hunger, the want for something more--something that only the person across us could give, was growing stronger and stronger with every passing breath that we drew. 

TOO SOON, my body screamed, so i pulled away. the warmth disappeared, what was i doing? where was my heart, what did my head do, so many emotions piling up at once, racing over my body drawing anxiety. shaking uncontrollably. 

and the disappointment on your face only made it worse, and the bitter taste on my tongue felt far worse then any words could explain, this feeling in my brain that shouted that all was wrong. but how could everything with you be wrong, when my heart jumped with joy, whenever our eyes met? 

  ☆ 

here's another song rec, "i hope your whole life sux."

lmao, i had the song the entire day in my head (y'know the melody and all) but i couldn't remember the title for the life of me. so i just literally looked up the few words that i knew,

and i got the song, so yay. it's a def a great song. 

trying new things^^ (a real big new step with formatting and all that shidazzle), and eh with the poetry and all. dunno if this even is poetry, i'll just call it poetry. it's a bit of a cliche, the story or the vibe that i was trying to , but i kinda like it (for now). so yay. okay. lmao.