The Trouble with Faking It / Tyler Seguin

Chapter 3: La Douleur Exquise

Chapter 3: La Douleur Exquise

La Douleur Exquise

(n.) the heart wrenching pain of wanting someone you can't have

"You're saying she was never adopted?"

"Not exactly," Madilyn says, flipping through some papers. "She was placed with foster parents when she was released from the hospital but then she needed heart surgery at age 2, and the foster parents no longer wanted to keep her because they were unable to pay for the medical bills. She was placed back in the foster care system and money was raised to pay for her surgery. She bounced around foster homes for years and she's living in a group home now, in Oklahoma."

My heart stops beating for a moment. "Oklahoma? That's less than three hours from here."

Madilyn smiles, and nods softly. "Yes. She's living in a group home with four other children."

"Group home?" I ask with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I've only ever seen shows and it seems like group homes are always horrible. I take a deep breath and look down at my hands. "So, what now?"

"I'm not sure." Madilyn says honestly and I wish I knew.

***

"So, what's this party going to be like?" I ask Tyler, eyeing the dress he's holding up in front of me. It's not quite in my comfort zone due to its short length and low cut.

"You know, just the usual. I only need you to make an appearance with me and then you can go have some drinks with Maddie or something."

I glare at him. "If you go hook up with some girl –ʺ

"This has to stop." He says and I look at him in surprise. "I'm not going to cheat on you –ʼʼ

"We aren't together." I say sharply, wincing when his face goes red in anger. He drops the dress, turning away, and begins pacing.

"It has to seem like –ʺ

"What if I wanted to date someone now, huh?" I snap.

He turns to me, glaring. "Then why the hell did you agree to this?"

"You know why."

"Yeah. I do." He snaps. "And I'm helping you do something you've wanted to do for years."

"And you used it against me!" I shout, and my eyes are filling up with tears. "You knew I wouldn't say no after you offered to help me find her because you know how badly I wanted to. I trusted you with that and you used it against me."

He stops pacing and his face softens a little bit when he sees that I am on the verge of tears.

"Daisy –ʺ

"Stop." I whisper as he starts walking towards me. He doesn't listen of course, because Tyler thinks that hugs are the solution to everything (and maybe they are), so I end up tucked in his arms and crying all over his blue shirt that he was going to wear to the party. He doesn't seem to be bothered by it, he just holds me close and apologizes until the only word I know is sorry.

***

The party is exactly how I expect it to be. It's loud, crowded with people and just about the same as all the other parties I've been to with Tyler.

We play the happy couple in love, but the glares I am receiving make me want to melt straight through the floor to hide away from everybody. As expected, Maddie is off with the first guy who flirts with her. I guess her saying that things with Elliot were going well was a lie. Or maybe it didn't last. When it comes to Madilyn, you never know what exactly is going on.

Plenty of girls try to flirt with Ty, but he turns them away and instead, introducing me as his girlfriend.

Wow.

Jamie Benn joins us at the table we're sitting at and I honestly can't tell if he knows the truth. Regardless, he plays along.

"So, you finally gave Tyler a shot?" Jamie teases. "You're the only thing he talks about."

I glance at Tyler from the corner of my eye, and to my surprise, he is blushing.

Very, very badly.

"Well, after plenty of begging, I told him I would go on a date with him."

This isn't technically a lie because he did sort of have to beg me to agree to fake being his girlfriend.

Jamie laughs and when I look at Ty, he has a soft smile on his face. He quickly masks it when he notices I am looking at him. Instead, he smirks and says "Oh c'mon, I'm irresistible. You jumped at the chance to date me."

My honest reaction is to roll my eyes. Jamie just laughs, and I feel like Tyler and I are totally selling this. If Jamie really doesn't know the truth, then we can make anybody believe this.

We have a drink with Jamie and Jordie and then Ty grabs my hand and pulls me to the dance floor, and oh God, we're 'dating' which means dancing basically consist of rolling hips and kissing. We haven't kissed yet, except for me kissing his cheek when he introduced me as his girlfriend which he later informed me that kissing his cheek is like something his grandmother would do.

I can tell he's trying to be respectful, but the crowd keeps pushing is closer and for Gods sake, Daisy, just kiss him! He's been keeping a close eye on my face expressions and body language, clearly making sure I'm not uncomfortable so as you can imagine, his first reaction when I kiss him is pure surprise. He quickly masks it because him reacting badly wouldn't make people believe we're dating.

Whether or not I'd ever admit it – I've imagine what it would feel like kissing Tyler Seguin. Probably since the first time he tried to pick me up. I'm not blind, and especially after I got to know him, I wondered what it would be like.

And let me tell you something – imaging it is nothing like the real thing. I expected him to taste strong, like the vodka he's been drinking but he tastes sweet, and a little minty, as if he just brushed his teeth.

I can tell he is holding back and I wish he wouldn't. I wish I could just let go and let him kiss me properly but I'm afraid of what could happen if I let myself get too invested in him.

I start to pull away, trying to come up with an excuse but then I think fuck it. No seriously, fuck him. He's so addictive and kissing him just makes me want more.

But I've learned the hard way that wanting more is just a recipe for heartache.

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a/n

hope you guys like this!

also if you like alex galchenyuk, I've recently started a new story about him so you should check it out!

its called Little Do You Know

thanks for reading!

- alexandra