The Boy In The Black||A Dan Howell FanFic

You Can't Run Away Anymore

¿Chapter 12?

Bailey's POV

Friday, January 23rd, 2009

I felt a spark whenever I touched Dan and quite frankly I was afraid. When we kissed it was even more electric. It was around six o'clock and my family would want me home by now.

"I-I have to go home now." I stuttered.

Dan nodded, "Yeah, sure, of course."

We got up and into his car and drove in complete awkward silence. I was home by 6:30,

"Thanks." I said

"I'll text you later." Dan replied "Goodnight, Bailey."

"Goodnight, Dan."

I ran up to my house and opened the door. My aunt was in the kitchen cooking.

"No, stop. You shouldn't be using your energy. I'll cook, you sit down and rest." I demanded.

"Sweetie, it's fine. I'm fine." Noelle said.

"No, it's not fine! Nothing is fine!" I shouted I didn't mean to yell but it just came out, "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to shout."

"Bailey." She sighed. "It's alright you can help me cook. A compromise?"

I looked at my aunt, she was so fragile. The past couple weeks had been hard for her; it was hard for all of us. Noelle was small as it was, but the cancer made her look even smaller. She had started chemo and her brown hair was starting to turn grey and was falling out in clumps.

I nodded, "A compromise."
~
Dan had tried to text me several times that night, I just ignored him.

It was around 10 o'clock and I was getting ready for bed when I heard a knock at my door.

"Come in." I said emotionless.

My aunt walked in,

"Hey." She motion for me to sit down. "Today.. You seemed.. Different. Is there anything wrong?"

"No, it's nothing." I huffed. "Don't worry about me."

"Bailey, it's my job to worry about you. You can tell me anything, you know that right? Is it something with a boy? Dan?"

How could she know?

"Yes, it's something with him." I replied.

"I knew it! What happened?" She asked.

"Today, Lianna was following us so we hid in a closet for like 20 minutes and we were supposed to practice for the play but instead he took me to his favorite spot."

"Is that it? What's so bad about that?" She questioned.

I shook my head, I can't believe I'm telling her this.

"It was sunset and we were sitting under this beautiful oak tree and it was like the movies. We kissed and I felt something but- I, I don't know." My eyes started to get wet. "I'm scared to be in a relationship! I don't know how any of it works and I'll get attached! We'll end up breaking up, I'll be heartbroken. I don't want to get into any of this!"

"Bailey, you have to decide what you're going to do here. You cannot run away from it now. Either you like him or you don't." She said.

"I do like him." I whispered.

"Then you have to tell him how you feel. You bottle up your emotions and I can't even begin to describe to you how awful it is. I try to help you as much as possible but it's hard because you shut everyone out. Don't do this to Dan." Noelle advised.

"I don't try to shut people out! It just happens when I get scared..." I mumbled.

"We all get scared, Bailey. It's not a thing you can escape from! You cannot run away from fear; you have to face it. How do you think I felt when I found out I was pregnant at 19? Scared? Not the right word. Petrified? Yes. I wasn't in a relationship, we broke up. Elizabeth's father doesn't even know he's a father! I didn't run away, I couldn't run away. So I faced it, I made it. Now, I have cancer! I can't run away from that either or trust me I would! You cannot run away from love!"

Love.

"I don't believe in love." I said flatly.

"You believe whatever you'd like the point is that you can't run away anymore." With that she got up and closed my door.

I was left alone in the darkness with my own thoughts eating away at my soul.

I didn't realize it then, but that was the night that I did start to believe in love. Maybe not romantically; at least not yet. I saw something in my aunt that made me realize, love was real and it was everywhere; but I could see it the most in her. That she did care and that she did love me.

And I loved her too.