Serendipity is for Suckers | h.s. *EDITING*

27 // ★

[POSTED SONG: Be Alright by Justin Bieber]

I'm a fucking idiot. Of course I feel the same way with Ria, if not, more so.

But I'm not a cheater. Ive always has feelings for Ria but I'm with Elise now.

She should've told me sooner than leading me on to think otherwise.

"There was this guy," she speaks quietly, surprising me and probably herself, at her sudden confession. Instead of saying something, I sit right next to her and urge her to continue with my silence.

She doesn't look at me, she just continues to stare at the floor. "His name was Justin. Lani wasn't my only friend growing up, we weren't always a duo. We were a trio with Justin." She raises her hand to her face to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know it's going to sound stupid, especially coming from me of all people," she half laughs, "but I've pretty much been in love with him since the day we met as fucking eight year olds."

Her voice is shaky but she regains control when she clears her throat and takes in slow, deep breaths. I'm too afraid to say anything. I'm afraid that if I do, she'll crawl back into her hiding place and I'll never get to know the real her.

"When high school came along, hormones were skyrocketing and emotions were on full blast and shit, we established this real romantic relationship. He was my first everything. My first love, first kiss, first time, first of... everything. I had way too much trust in us that I actually saw a stupid future with him. We were going to go to college together and get married and eventually start a family. Real high school sweethearts, ya know? I was so content with life at the time... Anyways, I lost my virginity to him on the night of our Junior Homecoming dance. I've never felt so close with anyone in my entire life. I felt this raw, emotional connection with Justin and I just felt like everything was being perfectly set in place." Tears are brimming her eyes and I suddenly feel extremely guilty for pressuring her into telling me about her history.

"Well, it turns out it was all just fake!" She laughs. I know she's only laughing to conceal her real pain. "It was all just a stupid show for him to get in my pants. He dropped me the following week and I started to get really insecure about it. But then, people started to find out. Guys would cat call me in the hallways and girls would call me a slut for having sex at such a young age. Then I started to wonder, how the fuck did they even find out? It's because of that little shit, Justin! He told everyone! I just thought he stopped loving me but it turns out that he never really did in the first place. Sure, we were friends, but once he started getting recognized by the 'cool kids' he did whatever and whoever he could to receive their praise. It's some fucked up shit, I know.
It certainly doesn't end there though. He never even apologized and I remember feeling so stupid for thinking he would. He flaunted our sexual encounter together as if it were his greatest conquest. You'd be foolish to think that that was the fucked up part. He told me in front of all his friends, in front of all the snobby girls in my class, that he only dated me to fuck me and that it only went on for so long because my legs were tough to open. He completely humiliated me in front of everyone. He then went on to admit that the two years we were together, he'd been cheating on me with this bitch Alyssa. Alyssa was there the entire time and she had the fucking nerve to laugh and bring up the cute little mole on my left hip. So, obviously, Justin fucking told them every sparing detail about the best night of my life.
Instead of fighting back, I ran and cried for the last time in my life ever, went back to their spot in the cafeteria and punched Alyssa straight in the face. I also didn't hesitate to kick Justin in the dick and I was the one who got suspended for a week. Then Alyssa made the rest of my Junior year a living hell. Justin continued to date her and was always so damn cruel to me from there on out because he was so fucking obsessed with popularity.
So that's why I'm so damn angry all the time, okay, Harry? Are you happy now that you've opened up the dark vault I've been trying so desperately hard to keep closed? He's the reason why I don't just trust people so easily. That's why I don't just open up. It's a dark path in my life and I never intended on looking back. So are you content now? You finally got the tough bitch to break!" Ria is in full sobs now. Full shaking sobs.