Finding Us| ✔️

Chapter 12

It only lasted a second.

His lips are smooth- soft, and taste of the ocean when they move against mine. The warmth coating his lips soon makes me feel warm, as pulses of happiness and shock rush through me. The unfamiliarity of it all makes a thought pop up in my head, well, more like a realization.

He's not him. He's not the guy that held me for weeks while I recovered from my family's death. He's not the guy that I shared my awkward phase with- or the DC show phase that I'm still in. He's not the guy that I laughed with throughout middle school and freshmen year because we both needed a distraction from life. He's not the guy that kissed me on the cheek in kindergarten.

Jaxon is not Kaden.

I quickly pull away, my lips tingling in surprise, and stutter while I glance between both of those breath-taking eyes. They stare back at me in a way that makes me feel as if he knows. He knows I'm head over heels with Kaden, I think to myself when he glances down in shame.

"I-" I start, feeling guilt twist deep in my stomach. Here, staring at this amazingly handsome guy that just kissed me, who also has a jawline sharp enough to cut diamond, I wish I could like him. But I can't choose who I love. That's why love is both a blessing and a curse. "I-I'm sorry. I can't do this."

Sparing one last glance at his face, I find that it's both confused and ashamed as I rush out of the water. The cold air is an unwelcoming feeling, my bathing suit soon clinging to me desperately while I sprint for the hotel, my nose tingling before tears flood my vision. The sand instantly sticks to my toes, as the rest of it flies from underneath me. "I'm such a coward," I mumble to myself as I jam my finger into the button in the elevator.

The secretary gives me a sorry look before she's gone, and the elevator doors close. "God, God," I pace the small space, tentatively touching my tingling lips. Then I quickly pull away like my lips are fire, and entangle my fingers in my knotted hair. "So stupid, Luce."

The sobs make my body shake. I hug my torso, letting the tears stream down my face as I slide down the wall, the movement of the elevator making my stomach turn. When the door dings, I stumble to my feet before running down the carpeted hall.

Room 904. I don't have my keycard.

My hand forms a fist, and I knock on the door three times. I faintly hear a groan, followed by footsteps, before the door is open. Revealed to me is Sarah, her pink hair sticking out in random places, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Hello?" She mumbles.

I push myself past the open door, wrapping my arms around her small frame. The cries come out muffled due to her shirt. Sarah's brain seems to kick in, as her arms wrap around my torso.

"I'm such a bad person." I choke out between sobs. Swallowing becomes a chore and the lump in my throat grows. Sarah listens to my ranting, gently stoking my back.

When my crying stops, she holds me at arm-length, gray eyes studying me with concern. "What happened?"

"I lead Jaxon on and I let him kiss me and I ran away and I can't believe I did that." I breathe out. "And I'm sick of Beth. I'm sick of Kaden."

"Sh," She says quietly. "You don't mean that. You love Kaden. As a friend and more."

"I know. I hate it."

Sarah eventually coaxes me out of my depressed state, and persuades me to get some sleep. After sending me an empathetic look, she turns off the lights, then crawls into bed herself.

But I lay awake, my hands folded comfortably on my stomach, thinking. Should I apologize tomorrow? Or get angry because he kissed me?

Did I lead him on? Maybe I should be with him. He clearly likes me whereas Kaden doesn't. Also he's nice- and has an accent.

Don't I deserve that? To be happy?

After considering that for a while, I shake my head in the dark. If I had feelings for him, I would've known a long time ago. And if I do try things with him, what if it doesn't work and then he figures out that I experimented to see?

Eventually I fall into a fitful sleep. This is the first time I realize just how complicated my life is. Isn't kissing supposed to be amazing? Then why does it cause so much?

~*~

The next day I'm still completely confused on what to do. But after eating the breakfast Sarah ordered, staring out from the terrace, and telling her that I'll just stay in today, I realize I can't do this forever. We have to talk at some point about the kiss. I just have my priorities straight right now, and Sarah's at the top.

I need to figure out someway to blackmail Beth or something to get Sarah safe.

However, there's nothing I can use against her. From what I know, she's perfectly clean. Maybe... Maybe I should talk to Sarah.

"Okay, I'm leaving," Sarah exits the bathroom, a Q-Tip in one ear. "You sure you want to stay?" She asks, head tilted to the side with her wet hair hanging loosely.

"Actually. We need to talk."

She nods before walking over and plopping onto the bed, which is a respectable distance away. "'Course. I'm listening."

"Uh," I look down, fumbling with my fingers nervously. "I-I know about your girlfriend."

Sarah gulps. "Who.... Who told you?"

After seeing her stricken face, I reply, "Beth. She told me if I didn't stay away from Kaden, she'd tell everyone. I'm sorry. I should've told you earlier. I just didn't know what to-"

"It's okay. I understand," She leans forward, head in her palms, her fingers still wrinkled from her shower. "But.... Luce?"

"Yeah?" I breathe out with my heart hammering. God, what now? What could possibly be worse? Maybe she really doesn't understand that I want to protect her.

"Beth. She's my girlfriend."

A/N:
Oooo left you with a cliffhanger 😂.
Again, short chapter. I just have some schtuff going on. But summer's coming! I won't be busy much longer! Though I have a ton of exams.... Oh, well!

Thanks for reading, lovelies!!!!

Love,
PineappleGoddess