Finding Us| ✔️

Chapter 13

"What?" My mouth drops. "Explain! Wait, but, why would she say that then?"

She looks down. I suddenly feel guilty because of the way her eyes are glossed with sadness. "I don't know. She was mad at me earlier because she said how she should feel this way towards Kaden, not me."

"What way, Sarah? How could she do that to you?" My voice cracks in frustration. Really, how can you lead someone on like that?

My blood runs cold, a now familiar wave of guilt passing over me. Like how I did with Jaxon.

"I don't know!" She snaps harshly, making me tense. Then she sends an apologetic look my way. "She said she loves me- loved. God, how could I be so stupid?"

After swallowing a lump of sympathy, I tell her, "You're not stupid. You can't help who you fall in love with."

Moments of silence pass between us. I can tell she knows what I'm feeling, and I her. As the thought sinks in, I scrunch my eyebrows. Why is she dating Kaden?

"Is she... Is Beth bisexual?" I can't help but ask. Was that offensive?

She looks up, eyes puffy and red. "No," She sniffles. "The only reason she's with Kaden is to protect her from being harassed. She doesn't want anyone to know she's gay."

Holy fuck. I know this isn't the time, but holy crapes I'm happy. She doesn't really like him.

"Should I confront her?" I ask. "Like actually ask her? I mean, what proof could she possibly have that doesn't involve her?"

She thinks for a second. Then she straightens up, "Yeah... Does she not have proof? We never took any pictures. Not that I know of, anyway."

"Could we talk to her maybe? She definitely loves you but is too much of a coward to embrace it. You could convince her to back down."

Sarah finds the floor interesting all of a sudden. She says quietly, "I'm not sure that will work, Luce. She only said it once-"

"Nuh-uh," I scold her. "She said she loves you. She still does because, trust me, if there was a way to stop loving someone, I would've done it a long time ago."

Giving me a look of surprise and disbelief, she simply says, and eyebrow raised, "I didn't think you'd be so supportive. I thought you'd be so surprised you'd hate me for not telling you."

Ouch. That hurt more than I think it should've. "Sarah, I'll always be supportive. And I respect your wish to keep it a secret. You deserve to have it be a secret- enjoy it."

"Not sure if I want to." She sighs. "Keep it a secret, I mean. I kind of want to walk into school and shout 'I'm gay' to everyone. I want them to know I'm not ashamed."

I laugh half-heartedly. "You've got more balls than all the guys at our school."

"Except Kaden." She winks.

My lungs deflate, heart fluttering. "Did you just...?"

She stands up before literally jumping in glee. "Luce! Oh my god, oh my god! I just realized! There's nothing stopping you from being with Kaden!"

"Right," I fiddle with my fingers anxiously- for no reason. "First, you need to talk to Beth. Should I be present or nearby?"

Luckily Sarah doesn't notice my strange, nervous behavior. Instead she seems nervous herself. "No, behind a window or something. So you know what's happening- oh god. What the fuck do I wear? A dress? No, she might not like me anymore. Shorts and a tee?" She rambles like that, pacing the room and mumbling.