Finding Us| ✔️

Chapter 18

The buzzing of the air conditioning fills my ears, as I watch Kaden down another root beer float. He burps, then pushes the cup aside to add to his increasing collection.

"So," I say to him, folding one hand over the other on the table. "How did she... go about saying it?"

"She 'fell in love with someone else.' And then she said how she was 'deeply sorry.'"

I clear my throat, picking a sprinkle off of my ice cream. "Someone else? Did she specify who.... or by any chance did she say the gender?"

"The gender-?" He glances up at me, then frowns. Yeah, she said it was a girl she fell in love with. Why?"

My eyes go wide and I stutter. Then his eyes widen before he says in a quiet voice, "Are you the girl she fell in love with?"

I snort before telling him fast, "No! Just- Just I know the girl that she fell in love with- and actually I've known for quite a while but I couldn't tell you and it was horrible."

He stares at me blankly. The silence between us feels deadly, the air becoming thick and my heart beating fast. Why did I tell him? I knew I shouldn't have.

"Who's the girl?"

"She, uh, she wishes to remain anonymous." I sputter.

"How long have you known?"

I swallow hard, looking down at my hands, unable to look him in the eyes. Quietly I respond, "A couple of weeks. Since the vacation."

When I look up, I catch him looking out the window with a look in his eyes that tells me he's a million miles away. Kaden brings his hand up to his chin and rubs it. Meanwhile, his honey eyes seem darker now, like a light chocolate, and they seem glassy and vulnerable.

"Kaden," I start in a pleading, quiet voice that sounds so close to breaking that I don't even recognize it. "I'm so sorry. You deserve much more than to be played with like that- I should've told you but it was a complicated situation."

Numbly he says, "Played with. She used me. She never had feelings for me, did she?"

I love you, you're the light of my life, my best friend. Please don't go dim because I didn't tell you. What would've happened if I did? I would've have to betray one friend to help another?

"I..." Is all I can manage to say. Everything about this is wrong and uncomfortable. I feel guilty, he feels used, but who is he more mad at? Me, or her?

We sat in silence for a moment. I waited for him to speak, for once unsure how to comfort him or what to say. Until he finally admitted, "I don't think I was really in love with her."

"Wai- Wha- Really?"

He nodded, eyes filled with thought. "I think I convinced myself into loving her," Kaden told me, looking down, playing with a straw wrapper. "Love is... well, it's love. It's not just 'having feelings' it's more than that."

I swallowed, biting my lower lip for a split second.

"When you think about someone nonstop. And when you hug them, you just want to hold them forever, and be with them forever," He explains slowly, his forehead creasing a little bit while he continues to play with the straw wrapper. "It's like time stops and spending an hour with them feels like three minutes."

He laughs a little bit, his lips twitching into a smile, causing me to do the same. Our eyes meet, his holding a playfulness and mine holding adoration for the guy in front of me.

"Welp! Let's get more ice cream!" I exclaim, dramatically throwing my hands up and then scooting out of the booth.

He laughs, then gets out too. "Wait! Did you hear that?"

I listen for a second. "No?"

Kaden pulls out his wallet and makes it look like it's talking, "No, don't take more money from me!"

"Sorry Wallet," I gently rub the wallet like a lunatic. "But it was Kaden's idea to come here anyway so it's his treat!"

Kaden laughs before pulling me into a quick side hug. Then I ask, "So... we're good?"

"Yeah," He smiles, squeezing me a little tighter on my shoulders, causing sparks of warmth to erupt in my skin. "We're good."