Wolf's Tail Two (Boy X Boy; Werewolf)

Chapter 13 - Heartbreak

Waking Hirem up to leave wasn't fun. It involved tears, snot, puke, screaming; just general hysteria as he realized his mate had left again. I wound up picking him up, carrying him bridal-style so he could try to relax. When we were about halfway back to the town, he gently tugged on my shirt. I looked down, trying desperately not to frown seeing his lashes, wet with tears. "Alex?"

"Yeah? What is it?" He looked away, gripping onto my shirt gently.

"How do you deal with it? When Caleb has to leave? I know sometimes he's gone for weeks at a time for alpha stuff..." I looked at him, eyebrows knitting together as I thought. I wanted to help him, to give him advice. I wanted to make everything alright for him. Despite that, the more I thought about it, the more I knew I couldn't. Every time Caleb left, even for just a day, I felt broken. I felt as if life was worthless, no matter how well I masked it. Once he'd been gone for a week, and I still remembered it clearly when he came home.

I was sitting on our bed, the door locked so our pups, already toddling a bit, wouldn't come in to see something so horrid. I was gripping at the bed sheets, which still smelled like him despite the time he'd been gone. I had a knife in my other hand, and I was watching a few drops of blood drip down my arm towards the bedding. I'd sobbed, moving my hand away as the reality hit me, reminded me he was going to be back. Caleb had found me just like that, slightly bleeding and feeling hopeless. It was one of the lowest points I'd hit since he and I had gotten together, and all because he had left for a week for serious alpha business.

I sighed knowing I couldn't tell Hirem that. "It's never easy, Hirem, but it's so important. We're going to help you with the baby, you know that." He sighed, whimpering into my neck. He clung to me yet again, trying desperately to block out the world around him; more specifically, the lack of his mate. I gently stroked his hair, whispering to him soothingly. "Just stay with me. That's what you always told me, wasn't it? Just stay with me and I'll never let you go?"

"Alex, I," He choked, then looked into my eyes. He let out a soft whimper, then a sob. "I don't want to be alone again. Leaving town was Hell for me. My parents got so bad, I wanted to just come home to you." I frowned, stopping where I was. I sat on the ground, and he curled up in my lap. He formed fists, gripping my shirt as tightly as he could. More tears slipped out of his eyes, so he shut them.

"What are you talking about, Hirem? How'd they get bad?"

"They um... They weren't great parents." That much I'd known, but there was clearly more. Despite that, he went quiet again. I sighed, mostly to myself, before brushing back his hair. I looked at his face, and his eyes locked onto mine.

Images of our childhood seemed to flood into my mind. Hirem walking into school, bruised. Hirem laughing it off when someone knocked him down and he screamed like he was in agonizing pain. Hirem refusing to let anyone go to his house. Hirem having a broken arm, saying he'd just fallen down the stairs. Hirem hiding something. Covering things up. Ignoring his own pain, all just to be strong for me, the boy who's life had fallen apart.

Never once did I question it. Never once did I ask him why I'd never met his parents. Never once did I tell him that it was odd he bruised so easily, or that I didn't understand why he wore makeup sometimes when we were boys in middle school. All of those questions I could have asked, should have asked, but I didn't. All because he took care of me, so I assumed he was alright.

So many years I'd spent thinking he was the strong one. So many years spent telling him that it was okay when I wanted to die but hid it, but then ignoring his same hidden pain. He'd come to me, falling apart because he has a mate and he lost his mate. But he was never okay. He'd been falling apart all along, right from the beginning. How did I miss it all this time, Hirem? How didn't I realize how much you needed me, just like you'd always known I needed you? How was I so fucking selfish?