Spring Day *On Hold*

Forteen

The night held a cool breeze that swept through our hair and down our shirts.

There was hardly any cars and equally less people.

It had been a week since our dance lessons started and we were sprawled across the green grass of the very same park that we had met in.

"Jimin?"

"Hm?"

"Do you trust me?" I asked.

There was a long pause, silence filled the space between us before you whispered your answer.

"I think so."

You looked at me before smiling, inching yourself closer to me.

You laid on your side, head turned in my direction.

"A-Yeong."

"Hm?"

"What's your biggest fear?"

I never knew the answer and I wouldn't until it was too late to tell you.

"I'm not sure. What's yours?" I asked in return.

"Myself."

There it was again.

That silence.

Those constant unspoken words.

"I wonder if dying is scary. I don't know why, it's just something I've always thought about."

You had turned back against the grass, staring out at nowhere as those words left your lips.

"If dying wasn't scary, there would be a lot less people in this world."  I had answered.

"You're right."

Your next words were so quite, I almost didn't hear them.

"If dying wasn't scary than I don't think I'd be here anymore."

Those words should've meant more.

They should've opened the door to the truth.

They should've been a warning sign like so many other things but I was stupid and young and foolish.

I'm sorry I never saw them, all of your warning signs.

Those words held our fate.

One that I still find myself running from.

That was the night that we started to break down barriers.

Barriers that always kept us separate from one another.

There were things that I had wanted to tell you, there were things that I wish you had told me.

There was always some sort of silence, some sort of secret that held us at a distance.

Part of me was always ashamed to say that I kept the very first secret, that I held the blame.

Maybe if you had known what I read.

Maybe you would've opened up.

Or maybe you would've hated me.

If you had known the truth would it have ever made a difference?

Would it have made you stay?

A part of me wished the answer was yes but the other part of me knew that it wasn't.

There was nothing that I could've done.

Nothing that I could've said.

And I'm so sorry for that.

A/N: Unedited

Update! Finally! I know.

I've been kind of MIA and I'm really sorry for that guys but on a positive note, advanced placement classes are over meaning no more AP tests,  prom has passed and I'm only failing one class so that means there will be a lot more updates pretty soon! I promise!

Again, thank you so much for reading my books and your constant support is such an inspiring thing for me! It's crazy to think that I'm most almost at 500 views after such a short period of time. I know that's not really a big deal to most people but for me it is and I really appreciate all of your comments and all the time you take to read my work although I don't update often.

Thank you ❤️

~Kookachue