We All Have Our Scars

Chapter 13 - It's so like him

~~Mew's P.O.V.~~

I can't believe anything that just happened. Then again, I can. It's so like him to do that, to kiss me and then blame it on me. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm losing Lyle as a best friend, Keegan as a brother, and I've already lost Hailey. I can't tell them anything, as much as I'd really like to. He wouldn't look at me the same though, his opinions of me would change; they've already changed.

I looked at myself in the mirror, to my luck no one was in here. Who have I become? I used to smile; all the time. I had everything anyone could ask for; a loving brother, loving parents (even if they were step parents), a loving guy best friend, a loving girl best friend, a beautiful body, and a beautiful mind. A happy mind. Whenever Francis bullied us, it hardly ever phased me. He was just another douche that had nothing better to do. But everything changed when my parents died in the car accident, my whole world was crushed, twisted, and torn. The madness consumed me, reality killed me, and life changed me. I don't know how, but Keegan managed to keep us from getting put in a foster care home or whatever. He took me into his own custody, becoming the brother he never really was; or bothered to show. A caring, fatherly brother. He got a job, two jobs actually, and started working. He worked nights, evenings, whenever he needed to. He paid the bills, he bought us groceries, he did a lot to keep us on our feet. Lyle's dad supported us all the way, giving us some money and food. Giving me a place to sleep whenever Keegan worked nights; but I guess at the same time, it was very irresponsible of him to not take us into his care.

I'm not the same girl I used to be, I've changed so much. Sure, I found death interesting, but I'd never want to experience it myself. I loved my life, enjoying every moment of it. Now? Now I'd love to experience death, going into an eternal sleep, never waking up, people finally realizing how much of a nuisance I was to them. I'm just not sure what to do, finally tell Keegan about every little thing that's going on in my head?

No, I can do this myself. I'll fix myself, I don't need anyone else's help. I'm stronger than that. Although I can't help but feel as if though I'm going to give up in the middle of helping myself, I mean, I've had suicidal thoughts for the longest time; and I don't see them ending any time soon.

Well...I've already given up. Let's get down to business. I thought to myself as I walked into the stall and pulled out the small Ziploc bag out of my sweat jacket pocket.

~~~

"Mew you have really got to stop this. It's too much!" Keegan raised his voice, lecturing me about my consistent self harming.

"It's not enough!" I yelled back, fed up with him just lecturing and not helping.

"I'm going to call the goddamn asylum to come get you and take you away until you've come to your senses!" He yelled, ending the argument. I know he wouldn't do that, he'd never forgive himself. I'm all he has left, and if I'm forced to leave even for a while because of him, he'll die completely inside like I have.

"You wouldn't do that." I murmured; the argument may have ended, but that doesn't mean I don't have any side comments.

"Oh really? Would you like to watch me?" He was getting intimidated by me, I could tell by the look he gave me. Like, 'Oh really?'

"Do it, I dare you." I crossed my arms, part of me wanting him to call just so I can get more pain that I deserve, but another part wanting him to embrace me in a warm hug and hold me. That's all I really need, just someone to hold me and talk with me. I'm insecure when it comes to crying in front of people, but the thought of crying into someone's chest. It seems wonderful, but it'll never happen.

"Fine." He pulled out his phone, looked up the number, and called. He told them he had a suicidal teenager, who had beat herself up, and was in desperate need.

I could not believe what I was hearing, I was infuriated. "I can't fucking believe you." I turned away from him, knowing I was about to break down.

He paused, then actually and thoroughly processed what he had just done. "Mew...oh my god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please." He was the desperate one now, and I wasn't going to help.

"Fuck off." I hissed at him before running up to my room and locking myself in the bathroom.

~~~

I hugged my knees to my chest, crying already, I rested my forehead against my knees. I held myself, and that's all I've ever gotten; it's all I'll ever have. Everything's been taken away from me; Keegan, Lyle, my music, my blades, my lighters, my knives, all of it. The stupid asylum people came and took me away, leaving all of my so called 'weapons' at home with Keegan. I fought against them, and Keegan tried to shoo them away. But his stupid ass couldn't do anything, he just screwed another thing up; as usual.

I was huddled in a corner, listening and watching everyone around me. I'm in the place for people who are the most sane. Weird for an insane asylum. A girl walked up to me, having a boyish pixie cut and deep blue eyes. She didn't look too welcoming.

"Mewlyn." She hissed at me, "I was wondering when you'd be here."

Oh my god. This's Lucy. She's one of Lyle's ex-girlfriend's; she hated me. Who doesn't? "Lucile. I was wondering when you'd try to get out, and end up "accidentally" hurting yourself." I did air quotations when I said 'accidentally' because she's known for blaming her self inflected injuries on random things. I'd own up to my self harm, unlike this bitch.

"Don't call my Lucile, you ass."

"I do have a marvelous ass, would you like to kiss it?"

"I'd rather kick it."

"Only if you smack it first."

"My god, are you always this nasty? You perv."

Well that's a new nickname, let's add it to the list. "Eh, I did learn it from you. Considering all those times you tried to have sex with Lyle."

"Lord, don't bring up that nuisance."

"You have an issue with Lyle?" I stood up, getting defensive. No one talks about Lyle negatively except for me, and that's only because I don't mean it. But I will not let this bitch stand her and insult him.

A smirk slowly crept through her lips, "Oo, someone's in love."

"No, just being a better best friend that you ever could've been."

"You're right, I was a terrible best friend, but an amazing girlfriend." She reached up and latched her hand to my throat and pressed me against the wall. Looks like it's time for a fight.

~~~

Ehhhh, it's short (~￣︵￣)~ I know. No inspiration ●︵● I've been a dead head all week. Hopefully this'll be enough to hold you together. I'll try to update more ｡◕‿‿◕｡