We All Have Our Scars

Chapter 15 - I spoke too soon

"Yes Keegan?" I asked as I sat on my bed and looked at the door.

"M-Mew? It's not Keegan...it's Lyle! Are you okay? May I come in?" As soon as I heard his voice I grabbed my sweatshirt and threw it on, along with my blanket over my lower body. It would not be good if he saw me in only a tanktop and underwear. Not because it'd be inappropriate or anything, but because of all my selfharm.

"Uh yeah. sure." I leaned back against the wall and picked up my laptop, opening it.

He opened the door and looked at me, then closed the door and walked over, looking a bit pale. "How are you? You were gone for a month...Keegan said you were visiting family or something." He paused and surveyed my body, or what he could see of it. "But you look a lot skinnier, what happened? Where were you?"

I signed into my account, then looked at him, "You ask too many questions. And it was three weeks, now come sit down and ask one question at a time." I laughed slightly and got on W.O.W. (World of Warcraft).

He chuckled and sat down beside me, looking at the screen, "Okay Bossy. First, how are you?, or are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine. I'm feeling better than I was before I left." Lie. "And I was just visiting family." Lie. "What're you so worried about?" I looked at him as I waited for the login to load.

"Well I care about you, Mew. You know that, I just want to make sure you're at your best. Okay?" I leaned his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes lovingly.

Know that 'lovingly' was only as a sister, I turned away from him and back towards the screen. Oh Lyle, if only you knew how bad I wanted to kiss you right now and spill my guts out to you while you hold me and cry with me, telling me it'll be okay. But sadly, that shall never happen. We're just best friends that have known each other for practically their whole lives, and that's just how it is. No more, no less; just friends, sadly without benefits. "Okay, Lyle."

I saw him give a silent sigh as he looked down at his hands and started picking at a nail that was too long compared to the rest, "Lyle dont pick. There's a nail clipper in my bathroom."

His head jolted over towards me, any harder and it would've snapped. He nodded slightly and stood, walking to my bathroom, he spoke quite shakily. "Oh yeah, thanks."

I looked back at my laptop screen and went to playing, everything seemed so perfect now. Sorta. I mean, I'm back home with Lyle, he's in a good mood as far as I can tell, Keegan's happy, I'm actually the happiest I've been in awhile. It's as perfect as it could ever be.

"Mew?" I heard him call from my bathroom, I looked up to see him looking in the drawer questioningly and worriedly.

I spoke too soon.

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"So what'd you tell him?"

"I lied about them."

"Mew, you more than likely need to tell him. I'm sure he'll understand and try to help."

My god, this therapist couldn't get anymore annoying, could she? I don't want to tell him anything, and that's final, old lady! It's my secret and he shall not know. You better be lucky I told your ass. I was telling her about what happened with Lyle that day, he had found my blades and lighters, 'n' all that stuff. I could get up or anything, so I lied and told him that they were my friends and I've taken them away from her to help her stop. I guess I should do that for myself...right? Eh. Now she's trying to convince me to tell the truth, but there's no way. He'll think I'm a freak, and I'll probably have to tell him about my magick too. No way José.

"Look, Lucile. I simply cannot tell him, he won't understand. He'll start ignoring me, or go off and tell everyone!" I discarded, we were playing Skip-Bo as usual. It just helped calm me down when we played a card game during therapy.

"Do you think he's that rude and backstabbing? To go off and hurt you, talking about you behind your back?" She took her turn, question my thoughts and sense of reality.

"Well...no not exactly." I watched her discard, then took my turn. Skip-Bo may not sound fun, but frankly, it is.

"Exactly, tell him. It'll help. You don't even have to tell him, you can just let it show. Offer him to come swimming, and get in your best bathing suit you have."

"Why do they call them bathing suits? You're not bathing in them, you're swimming. Right?"

"I read about it somewhere, but I don't really remember. You can look it up later and tell me next session." She laughed slightly and the subject was successfully changed, and the game continued.

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A few months had past and everything got worse. Lyle had gotten a new girlfriend, and so had Keegan. They were busier than usual, so I was back to having no one. The selfharm increased along with self hatred and shit like that. Last night I stressed myself too much and did something I shouldn't have done...but I'm now waking up. But...this doesn't look like my bathroom, where the hell am I? Wait, no...it can't be. Goddammit!

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School tomorrow!😭😳 I'm not sure how I feel about it...nervous...excited...stressed..I don't know~(・・？））I was supposed to be asleep at 10 and now it's 10:49（ ｉ _ ｉ ）I have to get up at 5 a.m. and teenagers need about 8+ hours of sleep(つД')ノ so I'm about to go to bed. I was also thinking about doing like a little journal of what goes on, to kinda vent and let y'all see a bit of insight of my life? Good idea? Bad? What do you thiiiink?

Uh oh! What did Mew do? Where is she? Did she tell Lyle? Is she okay??