𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬

4

After she heard those five words she all but tripped over her own feet to press the pause button. When she did and the tape came to a silent stop as she sat down on her bed staring at the cassette player breathing heavily, not from the almost trip she had, but from shock, confusion, and even a small bit of sadness that had seeped through her heart from just hearing her voice.

 After two minutes of just sitting there Maddie became completely upset, was this a joke? It was cruel, it had taken her weeks just to calm down when Hannah had taken her own life because she had felt so close to the girl though they had a few set backs and a falling out Maddie still would never want someone to go through so much heartache that they would take their own life. With a slightly shaking hand and a deep breath Maddie timidly pressed the play button and re-winded it so it would start over and when she heard her voice yet again Maddies breath got caught in her throat.

"Hey it's Hannah, Hannah Baker." Maddie pauses it again but this time only to put in headphones as she had no idea what would end up playing and she didn't want her mother to walk in on the wrong words. "That's right. Don't adjust your...whatever device you're hearing this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended."

Maddie didn't have to worry about her breath being caught in her throat because due to the last sentence it was like her breathing stopped. She paused the player, for what felt like the millionth time. Several thoughts were swirling in her head but one question was what she wanted answered most. 'Why did I get these?' Little did she know at the time this would be the question she never wanted answered. She hit play again.

"And if you're listening to this tape you're one of the reasons why." Maddie once again clicked pause, Hannah's voice was booming in her ears through the headphones but for some reason everything seemed to echo while her heartbeat was the loudest thing in the room. 

She took off the headset only to have it fall to the floor, bringing the cassette player down with it causing a small crash to be heard throughout the house, yet that seemed to be the least of her problems right now, she felt as if she couldn't breathe. 

Maddie was staring off into space and all she could feel was the pain of her chest clenching as tight as it could and all she could hear was Hannah's voice replaying in her ears over and over again, she had cost someone their life. 

She was so emerged in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door open. Zach had heard the crash and came to check on her but was not expecting Maddie to look in so much pain, he made his way over to the girl but once he seen the cassette player he knew what happened. "I killed her." Maddie kept mumbling while Zach tried to get her out of shock.

Maddie had passed out and by three in the morning she woke up again, she seen the cassette player on her desk and she stood up and walked over to it. She grabbed it and her headphones and brought it over to her bed and clicked play once she had her headphones on. She needed to hear it. She knew that much.

"I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise. Anyway, the rules here are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one: you listen. Number two: you pass it on. Hopefully, neither will be easy."

It already isn't, Maddie thought.

"It's not supposed to be easy, or I would have emailed you an MP3. When you're done listening to all 13 sides, because there are 13 sides to every story rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, pass them on to the next person."

Maddie was still so confused by the tapes, why was she on them, she hadn't done anything that could be so bad as to have Hannah take her own life, she also wanted to know is she was the first person receiving these, was she the very first person to make Hannah feel so alone she would take her life, or even worse was she the last person and didn't even recognize the signs she swore she would never miss on another person. She knew she would never know the answer to these unless she hit play, so yet again, she did.

"Oh, and the box of tapes should have included a map. I'll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city. I can't force you to visit them, but if you'd like a little more insight, head for the stars. Or, you know throw the map away and I'll never know or will I? You see, in case you're tempted to break the rules, understand I did make a copy of these tapes, and I left them with a trusted individual who, if this package doesn't make it through all of you, will release those copies in a very public manner. This was not a spur of the moment decision. Do not take me for granted. Not again. Put your finger on "C", your other finger on "4." Bring them together. That's our first red star. I know right? A map."

Maddie wanted to follow the map but she knew should couldn't risk sneaking out and getting caught, she decided she would visit the first star tomorrow but keep listening to the best of her abilities.

"Old school, again. No Google Maps, no app, no chance for the inter-webs to make everything worse, like it does. You've arrived at my first house in this crappy town where I threw my first and only party." Maddie had remembered that house, she remembered that party. Kat, Justin's girlfriend at the time, had invited them over to a friends party, when they showed up it didn't go as planned so she didn't go in or anything but that was the day Maddie had first seen Hannah.

"And where I met Justin Foley." Maddies eyebrows furrowed in confusion but her heart stopped when she heard the next words. "The subject of our first tape." Maddie didn't seem to understand so she paused the player again and took the headphones off and set them down. What did he do? Why didn't he tell me about the tapes? There were many questions floating around in her head but she knew it would be better to wait and listen to them in the morning when her brain would be working better than it would be now in the middle of the night.

{6.18.18}