EMPTY SPACE ; yugbam [HIATUS]

-25-

Yugyeom hated the way he loved it.

He hated that he loved the feeling of Micah's lips against his own. He hated that he loved the feeling of Micah's lips on his neck. He hated that he loved the feel of Micah's body against his, that he loved the shape of that body, that he loved to move his hands across that body.

When he kissed the other boy, he couldn't think. Micah intoxicated him, made him forget everything. But when he was walking back to his room that he shared with his best friend after their make-out sessions, he regretted everything.

He hated that he couldn't stop.

Every night, he lay in bed, feeling the guilt course through his veins. What would Bambam say if he knew? Would he even still want to be friends with Yugyeom? Probably not.

It had been months. Months of sneaking out once a week to make-out with his best friend's enemy. Months of hidden glances, hidden kisses, hidden feelings.

Yugyeom didn't know if he liked Micah or if he liked the fact that he was a boy. He'd kissed girls before, but none of them had made him feel the way he did when he kissed Micah.

None of them had made him hate himself with the guilt of betraying his only friend, either.

He wished he could stop. He really did.

But he couldn't.

—-

"Yugyeom, what has been up with you lately? You've been acting weird for months."

Yugyeom didn't look at Bambam, instead focusing on the book in his lap. He knew Bambam had been growing suspicious. He knew that he would figure it out eventually.

"I don't know what you're talking about", Yugyeom replied nonchalantly. He still wouldn't meet Bambam's piercing gaze.

Bambam raised an eyebrow. "I think we both know what I'm talking about. I'm not deaf, Yugyeom. I can hear you sneaking out at night."

Yugyeom's eyes widened and he gulped, trying to think up an excuse. He gazed around the room, desperately looking for some kind of help.

"Do you have a secret girlfriend you're not telling me about?"

Yugyeom froze, furrowing his eyebrows. A secret girlfriend? Why would Bambam think...

"Uh...", Yugyeom trailed off. He smiled with fake guilt, finally meeting the smaller boy's eyes. "You, uh, you caught me! How'd you figure it out?"

Bambam rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot, Kim Yugyeom. You're so obvious, sneaking out like that. So, who is she? Is she hot?"

Yugyeom laughed. "Uh, I can't tell you. She...doesn't want anybody to know."

Bambam huffed. "Women. What's she gonna do if you tell me? Rip your dick off?"

"Probably", Yugyeom lied. He watched Bambam as he turned back to his work at his desk, chewing on his pencil. As always, he felt the guilt settling at the bottom of his stomach. Maybe if he told Bambam the truth right now, he would understand?

Yugyeom bit on his bottom lip. He couldn't do it. He was too scared.

He sighed, turning back to his book. He really hoped this whole thing would figure itself out.

—-

"As you all know, this is your last level. So try your hardest, as we will be only excepting the top three or four of each group. Ten trainees will be chosen to train together until they go on their separate G.O.T. missions. Good luck!"

The trainees all turned to talk to each other in excitement. There were only 15 people in each group, with only three groups now. If Bambam and Yugyeom managed to make the top three, as they usually did, they would be in the top ten. If they made it in the top ten, they would get to see the stars.

"Do you think we'll make it?", Bambam asked, gazing around at the twelve other trainees they were with. The groups were a lot smaller and everyone in them were very experienced, so it would be a lot harder to make it to the top three.

"Of course", Yugyeom said confidently. They had been assured by their last couple of trainers that they were top of the group. Many people were confident that they would make it to the top ten.

"Hey, Kunpimook."

The voice made shivers go down Yugyeom's spine. He tried to hold back his blush, thinking of the other night when that same voice had told him that he was the most beautiful boy in the world.

Yugyeom and Bambam spun around to face Micah. Yugyeom met his gaze first, giving the other boy a small smile. Micah's face softened before he turned his attention back to Bambam.

"So, do you think you'll make it?", Micah asked cockily, leaning forward. Bambam scowled, his eyes narrowing at the other boy.

"Of course I will. I'm not so sure about you, though."

Micah laughed. "I'm going to beat your ass, Kunpimook."

Yugyeom had to look away. He felt an uncomfortable feeling deep in his stomach, making him slightly dizzy. He couldn't stand it when Micah teased Bambam.

"I'd like to see you try", Bambam spat back, angrily turning his back to Micah. He growled, staring at the ground in front of him. Yugyeom felt his heart thump against his chest.

"I can't believe him. He's such an asshole. I can't wait until I beat him and make it to the top ten."

Yugyeom didn't say anything, continuing to stare at the ground.

He needed to do something, soon.

—-
this chapter is 100 words shorter than it should be bc i'm lazy also sOmE sTuFf gOnNa hApPeN sOoN oOoOoOh