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Worth It

Alice POV:
I let us into our room and he looks around in awe. I can see he has never been in a place as luxurious as this and it makes me laughs a little. I throw my heels off and jump onto the king sized bed letting myself sink into its memory foam mattress closing my eyes from the comfort.
I feel him land next to me.
"This place is amazing, and this bed is the most comfortable thing ever" he says and I sit up admiring his cute face.
"Yeah it's okay" I reply. I am no longer impressed with material stuff, Hal had used them to win me over for 22 years but only now had I come to realise objects couldn't make you happy like other things.
"Okay? It's fit for a queen, so perfect for you then" he reply's making me blush like he always did.
"I'm no queen" I state because I'm far from polite and perfect.
"You were my queen" he replies and I can tell he is thinking back to when we were kids and I was indeed his queen.
"Yeah I was wasn't I?" I reply finding myself in my own daydream wishing I could go back.
I feel his warm touch on my skin and I wonder why opening my eyes to realise there where tears streaming down my face. He wipes them away not questioning why I am crying because he probably already knows, he is looking a bit teary eyed himself.
"Still can be if you want to" he lets me know.
"I wish it was that simple" I reply think of how different our lives have become back in riverdale. Here we can be ourselves but back at home we couldn't be. He sighs.
"I can't keep doing this, spending one great day with you and having the time of my life to only pretend I don't know you for the next few weeks" he says and I can tell he is starting to get annoyed with the whole situation between us.
"You think it's easy for me?" I ask him more tears escaping my eyes.
"I do because you know that no matter what I will do anything for you, you ask me to stay away and even though it hurts me more than anything else I do it. For you. So yes it's easy for you because you get to make any decision you want, me on the other hand just goes along with whatever you say even if it kills me inside" he shoots back and I have to get off the bed so I don't hit him. How dare he? I was making the decisions for both of our best interest not just me. And for him to think it's at all the slightest bit easy for me was hardly fair.
"This was supposed to be an escape from our shitty lives but you have to drag our problems with us, why ruin a good day?" I start to shout pouring myself some wine and drinking it just so I might be able to keep my calm.
"I can't keep pretending this doesn't exist Alice, I'm sick of kissing you and pretending nothing happened five minutes later. You may be able to but I won't" he says not raising his voice to me.
"Can you even hear yourself? You the one who's married, you should be the one to stop this because your in the wrong" I say and we both know it's low of me to bring it up.
I'm surprised in myself for mentioning it because I knew he regretted his whole marriage and how bad he must feel for being the reason for his family's split.
"I mean at least me and Gladys are separated I don't recall you and Hal were when you showed up at my trailer to sleep with me" he snaps standing up too and leaning over the bedside table. I shake my head at him because he just stooped as low as me. In fact lower, bringing up my serial killer ex husband is far worse than what I said.
"Don't act all perfect, lets not forget you covered up a teenage boys murder" I shout feeling more tears stream down my face feeling instant regret for bringing that up because I knew the circumstances he did that under. It was for Jug, to keep Jug safe.
"I did that for Jug and you know it, what have you done for Betty? Force her to live with two killers" he dug referring to chic and Hal which was probably the lowest blow of them all because I would do anything for Betty and my biggest regret and fear is putting her in danger.
"I'm glad you pushed me into Hal at least I didn't get stuck with you" I lie knowing it's the worst thing I could possibly say to him, it would get to him which was all I wanted to do at this point. His face flashes with anger and hurt. At this point we were both letting the drinks we had do the talking and neither of us fully meant what we were saying.
He steps towards me.
"You don't mean that" He says raising his hand to emphasise his point making me jumps back. After all that has happened with Hal it had become a reflex. Whenever someone raises a hand to me I retreat.
The anger drains from his face and he is left looking just hurt.
"Alice you didn't think I would hurt you did you?" He says in a quiet, bewildered voice.
I shake my head because I knew he would never but I couldn't help how my brain works.
"Just get away from me" I say pushing his reaching hands away from me and running into the bathroom. I wish I wasn't like this, so horrible and unable to control myself.
I slam the door and slide down it pulling myself as small as possible so my arms were wrapped around my legs.
"Alice please" he says through the door.
"Go away, can't you see how toxic we are for each other" I shout at him replaying all the horrible words we said to each other. Just to get through to each other.
"We are only fighting because what we have is worth it. Do you really think I would bother if I didn't care?" He says lightly pushing on the door.
"What exactly do we have Fp?" I ask him no longer having the energy to fight with him anymore.
"Open up and we can figure it out" he begs and I give in standing up and opening the door a crack so I can see him. His cheeks are wet and I can see he shed a few tears in the midst of our fight.
I walk out the bathroom and he pulls me into him holding the back of my head with one of his hands. I let myself melt into him shattered by my emotions.
"I will never ever lay a harmful hand in you nor will I ever let anyone else" he whispers giving a calming effect on me because I know he means it.
"I'm sorry about what I said, it was out of order" he says stroking my hair.
"No, I'm sorry we both said some bad things. Let's just not mention anything we said" I say disgusted at some of the things I choose to spit out.
"Agreed" he says still holding my in the embrace. It makes me feel safe and calm and I'm not ready for him to let go yet.
After a while I decide to pull away instantly missing his warmth.
"Be honest with me Alice, did you think I would hit you?" He asks and I can tell this has been bothering him.
"No, of course not. It's just Hal everything with Hal has me shaken up." I explain and it seems to calm him a little.
"He never treated you right, I could see that and I never did anything. Well it's time I make up for it, let me show you how you deserve to be treated" he says.
"And how's that?" I ask intrigued at his offer.
"With respect, like your the only person that matters, like a goddess" he replies holding my hands.
"Okay" I say before I even know I'm agreeing to it. He scoops me up and walks me to the bed placing me gently on it kissing my forehead.
"Okay I could get used to this" I comment as he walks back around to his side of the bed.
"Want my shirt?" He asks unbuttoning it knowing my answer was a yes.
"Yeah" I reply standing up and beginning talking my dress off but I can't seem to get the zip undone.
"Let me" he says walking over to me and removing my hands from the zip tugging it down smoothly and removing the dress from me before picking up the shirt and pulling it around me buttoning it up.
"Thank you Jones" I say letting a light smile across my face.
"I told you I'm going to look after you" he says picking me up again and placing me back I got he bed this time pulling the sheets around me before getting in next to me.
"Now get some sleep blondie I can see those beautiful eyes of yours drooping" he says and I cuddle up to him burying my face in his neck as he traces random letters on my back which I try to figure out what spell out.