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Just Like Them

Fp POV:
We spend the rest of the day laying in the middle of the forest with her head leant on my chest just talking and every now and then going into hysterics at what one of us had said. After a particularly long laughing fit initiated but something she said I seem to forget our situation and taking things too slow letting the three words both she and I dread so much out of my mouth.
"God I love you" I let slip and I feel her breathe stop for a second.

Alice POV:
I can't let myself go there with him. I know, what am I doing here if I don't see myself loving him and the true answer is I don't know. He gives me a rush and I guess I do love him but to say it makes it too real. Once I say that I can't take it back. Anyway I have come to the conclusion I hate love. All it has ever done is hurt me, granted I've only really ever loved him but it scares me how much someone you love can hurt you. Betty, Polly and even him have such an ability to make me vulnerable and I hate it.
I sit up panicking in my head. I can't say it back. I can't. It's wrong and only makes the fact I'm on a date with my daughters boyfriend's dad all more real.
"Sorry Alice I didn't meant to" he says sitting up as well.
"I think I should get home now" I say standing up and walking back to the truck not even checking to see if he followed me. He follows close behind picking up the blanket and throwing it at the back of the truck.
We don't say a word the whole journey nor do we even make eye contacts all you can hear is our heavy breaths clearly troubled and full of words we are holding back on saying.
He pulls up outside my house because Betty is still at school. I sighs as I get out the truck.
"Thanks, I had a good time" Is all I can muster and he nods before I walk into my house.
I instantly sink into my sofa groaning. Why didn't I just say it back? At least to just humour him. Now I've really fucked it up.
I need some wine, or even better some tequila or even vodka at this point. Something to get this out my mind quick. So I take the whole bottle of tequila out of the cupboard and start drinking it from the bottle.
I don't even think about the burning sensation it creates in my throat and before I know it most of the bottles gone. For a while I watch the room sway a bit before throwing up over myself not even realising I had done it until seconds later.
"Mom?" I can just about hear and my eyes close at the lights being turned on. Normally I wouldn't want her seeing me when I do this but this time i couldn't even pretend I'm fine.
"Oh my god mom" she says noticing I'm on the floor in a heap of my own sick.
"Mom, what do I do?" She asks starting to panic but I can't help her, I can barely even hear what she's saying.
I feel myself start to back out but her dabbing frantically at the sick on me snaps me up a bit.
"Help me, I need you to help me. Tell me what to do" she begs starting to cry onto me. I know it's traumatic to see your mother passed out in her own vomit on the floor so I feel for her.
"Jug" she whispers with a glimmer of hope in her voice. It made me happy she counted on his so much and that he always seems to be there for her.
I blank out and the next thing I know two more people are around me.
"Oh Alice" I hear the one person I am trying to forgets voice.

Fp POV:
I look at the tequila bottle, it's nearly empty. Damn this woman can drink but I'm smart enough to know that this is dangerous. I'm taking stomach pump dangerous. I've seen her drunk before but she is gone right now. She looks me in the eye before her head drops back again. I'll I can say is I'm glad Jug decided to come to me for advice about this because I need to keep an eye on her.
"look she's pretty bad guys, I will look after her because I know how these things work. You two stay here for the night and I'll take her to the trailer to sober up" I instruct them trying to make it seem as least suspicious as possible but at this point I just need to know she's okay.
"Thank you Mr Jones, I didn't know what to do" Betty says looking at Alice in despair.
"You did the right thing, I'm an expert in all things drunks and hungover" I reply trying to hide my concern for Alice. I scoop her up and carry her to the truck putting her in the seat next to me and rushing around to the other side in time for her to zone out once again and lean onto me. I have to support her and drive making it almost impossible but we make it to the trailer. I put her on my bed and start to look for any signs of alcohol poisoning.
Her breathing is slightly slower than the average but not worrying yet. She gains a little consciousness and I have to hold onto it.
"Don't go to sleep" I instruct knowing if she did there were added risks of choking on her own vomit. She groans as a response pulling a face I know anywhere. She's about to be sick. She tries to get up and I wrap my arm around her waist pulling one of hers around my shoulders and leading her to the bathroom where she is sick in the sink.
I hold back her hair whilst rubbing her back as she leans over the sink.
I give her a minute to make sure she's done and I scoop her back up carrying her over to the bed again.
"Don't fall sleep" I repeat seeing her eyes droop.
"I can't help it" she slurs. This first words she has said this whole time.
"Try to" I reply thinking now why she would do this. I mean tequila is not exactly something you sip along with dinner and then mind fall to my biggest fear. That I did this to her.
"Tell me a story" she asks snapping me out of my thoughts.
"It will keep me awake" she slurs.
"Okay..uh..when we were 7, me and Fred where playing in that tunnel, your secret hiding spot. Anyway we found it and started messing about in it but you found us and kicked us out. Well after you did that I turned to Fred and said 'I'm going to marry her one day'. Of course he looked at me like I was crazy but i really did mean it" I say and suddenly she burst out crying. Here we go, phase two, emotional drunk Alice.
"That's such a cute story" she cry's sounding if even possible more drunk.
"I'm sorry" she sobs tucking into me.
"for what you haven't done anything wrong?" I reply and she shakes her head vigorously.
"No I have, I should have just said it back. I wanted to but I just couldn't. I'm scared" she whimpers burring her head clumsily into my chest. It takes me a second to realise she is talking about the dreaded 'I love you' I let slip.
"I shouldn't have said it, it's too soon to spring that on you" I reply stroking her back. It's meant to calm her but she's crying even harder.
"More like twenty years to late, I've waited so long to hear it and when I do I can't spit it back out" she says in the middle of heavy breaths.
"It scares me because I would mean it" she whispers almost as if she wasn't sure if she wanted me to hear it. I instantly understand her, I had no anger for what she said or didn't say in this case at all. She has always had her reasons for the things she does but knowing she does love me she just can say it is enough for me. With this comes the realisation that I did this to her.
People have always known me as the alcoholic because I'm on the southside and it's just another way for them to feel bette than me but I know that Alice has at least a couple of glasses of wine a day to get her through it. I know she handles her problems just like I do mine, with alcohol. In fact I can't think of a time I haven't seen her with a glass of wine by her side.
I snap out of my thoughts when she starts crying hysterically.
"It's okay" I comfort kissing the top of her head and rubbing her back. I do this until I feel her breathing slow.
"You okay now?" I ask and she starts to cry again.
"You care about me so much" she whimpers.
"Of course I do" I reply laughing a little at her random crying spells. I know she's alright at this point because she's conscious and her breathings fine so I can just help her through her stages.
"Now quit your crying, I want I see that smile of yours" I say and she wipes her tears away and look up at me with big eyes. She lets a weak smile take over her face and I kiss her nose and it scrunches up as I do revealing a big smile on her face.
"There we go" I reply as if she's a sulking child. She sighs and wipes the last tear from her face.
"Okay I need another drink" she says trying to her up but I pull her down.
"Slow down there Alice, I'm trying to sober you up" I say as she fights my hold.
"Let me go" she shouts trying to claw at my hands that are around her. Phase three, angry Alice. My personal favourite of all of them.
"I will scream bloody murder I swear to god" she says in a serous, low tone and I try and take her seriously but she's hilarious.
"You think this is funny" she replies angry.
"Not in the slightest" I lie but the smile that creeps onto my face says otherwise.
She digs her nails into my arms and take them off her hips to restrain her hands.
"Let go" she complains moving her hands to her face taking mine with them and biting me. She didn't hold back and it hurts like hell, enough to make me let go.
"Ha" she laughs jumping off the bed clumsily and running into the kitchen. She knew exactly where I used to hide my alcohol and still probably would if I kept any in the house but I make sure there is never any in my house because it's too tempting if it's around.
"You don't have any" she says half surprised and half angry.
"No" I reply slowly walking over to the trailer door and locking it so she couldn't run out.
"Why don't you have any?" She ask only shocked at this point.
"I think you already know why" I reply and her face softens before she get mad again.
She storms over to the door trying to open it.
"Its locked genius" I say a little too soon to break out the sarcastic comments because she shoots me a death glare.
"Well unlock it" she orders.
"What do you can go drink yourself or death no way" I reply actually saying no to her for once. Only because it's for her own good.
"Why do you think I want a drink, I need to forget. I like being like this, out of control with no filter. To for once not remind myself every second of my mistakes. I don't want to sober up, I would say you don't understand but we all know your a raging alcoholic" she says covering her mouth muffling a gasp. Even she was in shock of what she said. Of course it hurt for her to say that but I can see she is in the exact same boat I was in when I was drinking.
"I'm sorry" she breaks down starting to cry again.
"It's okay come here" I say opening my arms and she runs into them throwing her arms around me.
"I'm just like them" she says quietly into my ear her voice breaking at the end. She was talking about the whole northside and everyone digs at me for my alcoholism.
"No your not. Your just drunk, I forgive you now please stop crying " I plead. I hate seeing her cry, even if it is just because she's had too much to drink. She sniffles and nods into my shoulder.