Forget The First (On Hold For Major Editing And Rewriting)

1. "Hi Mom, Hi Dad"

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Placing my camera strap around my neck, I take in a deep whiff of the crisp autumn air around me. The scent brings me back to when I was four and I would run around chased by my father, he would pick me up and drop me into a freshly formed pile of red, orange, and golden leaves. Then mom would drag us inside, pumping us full of warm apple cider after we'd had washed up. I miss those days.

I take a step forward, fallen leaves crunching beneath my mint converse as I make my way down the footpath that I have become all too familiar with, in the past year. Snapping photos of the falling leaves, my chest tightening as I near my destination.

My photos are turning out alright but they are not my best, even though I'll show them to my best friend Avery later and she will think that they're the greatest she's ever seen. I've known Avery since I was 3, we met in preschool, she was sort of shy but she was also bold.

One day we were given an orange as a snack but I didn't want it, I voiced that I didn't want the orange but the teacher was supposed to give me one whether I wanted it or not; I understand that she was just doing her job ... now but back then it was the worst thing ever. The teacher walked away leaving the aggravating orange sitting in front of me. I looked around watching to make sure that none of the adults were looking my way, then with all my three-year-old might I gripped the orange and chucked it across the room. Everyone in the room turned in the direction of me, the teacher that gave me the orange stomped over to me a furious scowl on her face, but before she had a chance to say anything the shy girl next to me was standing,

'I did it!' my mouth hung agape as Avery had just taken the blame for what I had just done, she looked at me with a knowing smirk.

She had never gotten in trouble, me, on the other hand, was constantly balls deep in it. She knew that one more outburst and I would have been kicked out. We have been friends and I have hated the color orange ever since.

My heart drops as I reach my destination clutching my DSLR camera and a bouquet of daisies in my cold hands. I sit down cross-legged in front of the tombstone with the last name 'Mackenzie' etched in the white and gray marble.

"Hi Mom, Hi Dad" my voice hitches as I struggle not to become a blubbering mess. I place the daisies down in front of the headstone. My nose starts to sing and my eyes burn as tears form at the brims of my eyelids. My parents have been gone for two years but it still slightly gets to me, not as much as it used to, but it still hurts none the less. I was 15 when my parents got into the car accident that would change everything. This left me in the custody of my brother Maverick, forcing him to gain maturity faster than he would have liked. He doesn't mind taking care of me because we were left money by both our parents and our grandparents. Money has never been an issue. We are quite well off if I do say so myself.

A twig snapping draws me awake from my thoughts. I peer over my right shoulder to gaze upon a tall boy that is around my age. He has a muscular build that is almost hidden underneath his leather jacket, but his muscles are obvious by the fact that his navy tee is pulled taut across his chest. His hair is a chocolate brown with natural highlights and low-lights, it looks soft.

"Sorry!" The boy pulls me from my thoughts his voice deep and strong but sincere.

"Uh ... What?" I wobble as I stand up with tears staining my face.

"I said sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." His voice slightly rasps.

"Oh... It's fine, you actually kinda just saved me from my own thoughts." I ramble looking down.

"Hey, Babe! You ready to go? I have to get to practice." A familiar voice comes from behind me. It's my boyfriend Chad.

"Could I have just a bit longer?" I plead because I'm not ready to leave just yet. I can tell that Chad sees the boy but he just glares at him.

"No, I have to go. You want to stay you'll have to walk home." Chad clipped. I'm not about to walk 15 miles home so I have to leave. I turn back to the boy who I still don't know the name of.

"Bye, it was nice meeting you." I smile sweetly as Chad's hand finds the small of my back and pushes me back towards the car. I wish I didn't have to go yet, something about this boy makes me want to get to know him."

"It was nice to meet you too." He shouts after me, I glance over my shoulder at him and smile. He smiles back at me and I feel butterflies in my stomach. This mystery boy is going to be trouble I can just feel it already.

I'd like to say that none of you are ever alone, there is always someone that is willing to listen. You should never feel pressured into doing something you don't want to. 

Help is out there.

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663

United Way Crisis Helpline: 1-800-233-4357

GriefShare: 1-800-395-5755

And there is a bunch more at http://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines