The Academy In My Head

Why? Why Not?

A/N: Just a little something that has tended to grow as an idea in my mind for a while. ... I know, I know, I could have put it in the Christmas Anthology but I really didn't want to wait until December to share. :)  ... a little something for those of you that like to ship Uncle and Erica. Enjoy!

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Erica paced in front of the large picture windows in the main room at the Blackbourne house. Just another Christmas day with all the kids and family, right? Yeah, that's what she had to keep telling herself.

Truth was, she was struggling today in a major way and things had just gone from bad to worse.

Her baby was in Paris and didn't come home for Christmas. Her heart had sunk for Jessica when they spoke yesterday. Her baby girl was so lonely that Erica could feel how homesick she was like it was pouring off her in waves. Her consolation was that Jessica appeared to have made a good friend in the form of her roommate and this was the only Christmas she'd be gone. She'd left at New Year's and would be home again by next Christmas.

No, the factor in this day taking a turn for the worse was the fact that she'd just shared a ... somewhat ... awkward?... kiss under the mistletoe with her best friend, Ben Taylor.

Awkward good or awkward bad?

Awkward mortifying would be about right.

She huffed a sigh and paused long enough to stare blankly out the window. She'd love to blame holiday spirit, too much spiked eggnog or the fact she'd eaten almost an entire platter of fudge and cookies on her own this afternoon. There had to be a logical explanation that could be used to blame the fact that every reasonable, logical thought that was in her head after dinner had skittered away, long gone, much like cookies in her cookie jar if Luke was around. She heard footsteps behind her and whirled away from where she'd been staring out the window and found Ben watching her.

"Erica..." He ran a hand over the back of his head, considering his next words carefully.

"Why did you kiss me?" She blurted, eyes wide as she stared at him.

"The obvious? We were under the mistletoe." He said. "And why not?"

"Mistletoe isn't a reason for kissing me." She felt stupid as soon as she'd said it because he arched an eyebrow at her.

"Sean would beg to differ. You know that boy decorates the entire house like it's a mistletoe forest every year. It was not only bound to happen someday, but I'm surprised that it's taken this long." He stated, the line of his jaw setting firmly as he picked up on her attitude.

Her brain was stuck on his previously uttered 'why not'. "Back up." She held up a hand. "What exactly do you mean by why not?"

He gave her a look. "Why not." He repeated. "Meaning that I have probably wanted to manage to catch you under the mistletoe for quite a while now."

"You..." Erica motioned between them. "You wanted to kiss me under mistletoe?"

He shifted under her laser beam focus and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, at least once under some mistletoe."

"Why didn't you?" she frowned. "We've known each other a long time, Ben." And to be honest, there had been quite a few years where she'd wondered about if they should try to be together, for the good of the kids, but they'd been overwhelmed for years and their hands, had been collectively full with raising their menagerie of cubs.

He shrugged and seemed to jam his hands deeper in his pockets. "There didn't usually seem to be a 'right' time, so to speak." She tilted her head and stared at him. "And at that point, you were still married." He said, exasperated at what he was sensing from her. "And you weren't done with him." His voice softened.

"I was done." She said dryly.

He tilted his head, returning the long, cautious, studying look. "You weren't done because Jessica was born less than a year later." He raised a finger when she opened her mouth. "You wouldn't trade her for anything, neither would I. But that window... that was where it was open, before the boys were 4."

Erica closed her mouth and studied him. "And in all these years since then, with our cubs all grown up and on their own, you've never once considered that maybe there was a new window that could be opened?"

"It would still be just as unsettling for them and I wouldn't want to hurt you or ruin a 25-year-old friendship by being careless with your feelings." He stated, running his hand over his head.

"That doesn't answer my question, Ben Taylor." Her eyes snapped green fire at him. "Did. You. Consider. A. New. Window?" her words were punctuated by steps towards him, ending up within a few steps of where he was standing.

He closed the distance between them, quickly grabbing her arm gently so that she'd have to look at him and wouldn't be able to get away. His eyes devoured her features as if memorizing them. "Every god damn fucking day, Erica. Every single hour of every day." He said, unashamed of dropping language worthy of coming out of Gabriel's mouth. His hands moved up, gently caressing her face before framing it between his hands and he crushed his lips to hers for the second time in an hour and kissed her deeply, a passionate and fiery kiss that left her with jelly for legs and unable to do anything but moan softly and wrap her arms around him to return his kiss.

They didn't notice a head peek around the corner at them, nor did they realize that a pair of chocolate brown eyes had just lit up at watching them kiss. Finally. Luke kept his mouth shut but indulged in an exaggerated fist pump.

Maybe he'd finally get the mama he'd asked Santa for repeatedly over the last 22 years.

(Fade)