Chapter 24

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It's almost been a week since Jungkook confessed.
I'm still not sure about our relationship.
Are we dating?
This is all new to me. I can stilll remember every little detail.
His words are still clear in my head.
It's as though I just have to think about it to replay the scene in my head.
Every movement from that night has been registered in my head. Crystal clear.

Our vacations have started and I spent the first week, sleeping.
I really needed a break and after all who says no to sleep?

Now I'm lying on my bed, too lazy to move a muscle.
I stare at the blank ceiling. My eyes tracing the path of the ripping paint.

My phone beeps beside me, signifying that I have received a message.
I lazily shuffle out of bed to look at the screen.

Jungkook: can we meet?

Now?
My fingers lazily tap on the screen.

Yea,sure,
I reply.

I get out of bed. I follow my routine. At least I need to look bearable.
I put on some simple clothes before heading out of bed.

I meet with soo-ji at the corridor.

"I will be hanging out with some friends from the club,"she says,enthusiastically.

I nod and smile at her.
I head off with a smile plastered on my face.

I knock on the door to Jungkook's room.
Taehyung opens it.
I have know this boy for years.

"Where's Jungkook?,"I question the sleepy boy.

It's still early in the morning.
Jungkook then shows up behind the boy. A smile as wide as mine plastered on his face.
He waves at me before heading out.

He mumbles something to the boy before holding onto my hand.
I'm taken by surprise at the sudden contact.
My smile widens and my cheeks are now tinted red.

"Let's go on a date."

"What?"

"A date,"he smiles.

This will be my first date. This is something every high-school girl has been dreaming of. I don't know about others but I have been fantasizing about mine for years.

First date with my boyfriend?
Could I call him that?

He pulls me closer before heading outside the gates.
We are free to go anywhere.

He leads the path.
"Where are we heading to?,"I question curiously.

"You'll see."

After about a few minutes of walking we end up at the ice-cream parlor.
The same one which we once visited.
The memories start to fill my mind.
I cannot think of anything else.
My eyes fill with tears and my hands start trembling.

"Why are we he-re?,"I stutter.

"I want you to get over this. I know it's hard but I can help. I'll be with you. You can rely on me,"he smiles.

Yes. He is right. I have to get over this . I can't stay like this forever. I have to get over this stupid fear of mine. The fear of being helpless. Why should I say 'no' when someone is offering to help?

I nod my head. My hands continue to tremble. He holds my hand. His large palm covering my small ones.
I try my best to shake of the fear.
I walk with slow, shaky steps. One at a time. He doesn't complain, instead he walks at the same pace as me.

We enter the parlor. The old lady is not present today. We walk towards the same seat where we sat the other day.
This time Jungkook sits beside me.
He orders for the same thing which we had once ordered.
My eyes once again fill with tears, threatening to fall.
His hold on my hand tightens.
He gives me a reassuring smile before whispering, "you can do it,"into my ear.

I try my best to smile. I try to forget everything that took place that day. I fill my mind with happy memories. Memories of days I have spent with with Jungkook, with soo-ji. I try to remember the faces of the little children who never fail to amuse me.

Slowly, I stop trembling but Jungkook doesn't let go of my hand.

We stay there in silence, occasionally taking a small bites off of our ice-creams.

I try to divert my attention. I need something to keep my mind busy. I'm not spoiling this date. I don't want to embarrass myself.

I divert my attention towards the little family, sitting ahead of us.
The mother,feeding the little girl. She smiles sweetly. Her father laughing at her.
A happy family.

My mind once again returns to that day.
My eyes once again fill with tears.

No,no,no I can't let this happen.
I have to be strong.

But my minds doesn't cooperate. It's as though it has a mind of it's own.
My hands start to tremble as I remember the events of that day.

My mother's once smiling face turning into dust in front of my own eyes.
I was helpless.

I start sobbing. Jungkook stands up and heads over to pay, then he quickly pulls me before leaving the place.
After minutes of walking we reach the park.
"It's okay. Let's take it slow," he reassures me.
I nod. I can't imagine how pathetic I might look to him.
"I'm sorry I spoilt your day. I'm useless. I can't get over this stupid fear. Why should I cry?"

He pulls me closer. The warmth we share, comforting me. I stay there,wailing,complaining.

"You don't have to say that. I think I took it too far. Let's take it slowly. You don't have to worry, I'll be with you and you aren't helpless. I'm there. I'll stay with you."
His word don't fail to comfort me.

We stay there for sometime.
When he gets up to head back, I stop him.

"Let's go back there. Let's go back to the parlor," I say, determined.

He first looks shocked but his expression soon changes into a happy one.
He gives me a smile before holding on to my hand and leading my way back to the place that gives me nightmares.

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