Elites of Eden: Yarrow Not Rowan

Chapter 5

I wake up refreshed but in pain from the bruises that have proven to become a dark blue. I go into the bathroom to look at myself while rubbing my eyes. I'm wearing a baggy white shirt that goes past my butt. I brush my teeth, and hair, then change into grey pants, and a brown top.

Last night Lark and I talked late into the night, and I honestly enjoy her presence...as a friend that is. When we were just talking about girl stuff, and being silly I was honestly enjoying myself. At times Lark tried to flirt and get closer but it just made me uncomfortable, even if I fall for her again, it won't be anytime soon.

I understand if Ash is just happy to have me back because he's my brother. Lachlan can barely stand being around me because I'm no longer myself. Lark seems to just be happy I'm alive, which I appreciate, but still...it says a lot about our relationship. Wouldn't a lover care more about who you are?

I'm too protective over my brother already to trouble him with any of my issues, but I want to be in a relationship where I'm not keeping things in and hiding my pain. I get the feeling that that's not something I will get with Lark.

With my mind full of thoughts of Lachlan and Lark I walk out of my room into the main chamber with the tree and head to the cafeteria. My daydream is disrupted by the sound of loud shrieks of laughter. I whip my head to the right and see Lachlan being attacked by a swarm of children.

I immediately remember the inconsiderate way he acted yesterday. As if his problems and feelings were more important than mine. I honestly do get it. I know that he feeling like a dirty asshole every time he kisses me but I don't know what to do to convince him that he's not.

I stand there for a minute just watching him as he hugs them and laughs along with them. This only hurts me more, this is evidence that Lachlan has a good heart and soul, yet he refuses to share it with me. Suddenly Lachlan looks up and I look back at him. For a few seconds it's just us gazing into each others eyes until he looks away. He says something to the children that seems to disappoint them then he starts walking towards me. I should have walked away or at least looked away but I continue to stare at him like a dear in the head lights.

"Hey," He says awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets.

"Hello," I say curtly.

"Listen..." he starts to say, I want to cut him off  but I don't know what to say. "I understand that... you're going through more than me right now...hell, you don't even know who you are, but... I should support you, and that's what I intend to do... I just can't support you in that way... I can't force felling on you, I've already told you."

"And I've already told you! You aren't forcing romantic feelings on me you're forcing friendly feelings on me! Lachlan it's unfair!" I explain in a loud whisper.

"I know," he says, "But I've already confused you enough."

"Confused?!" I whisper threateningly. "Yes, Lachlan I'm confused. I'm confused because I have no idea who the hell I am. Lachlan, don't you understand? The only time I'm not confused is around you. Everyone else just smiles and acts happy that I'm alive, but...Lachlan," I breath, quieter than a whisper. "You are the only one who acts like this isn't ok...because its not... you are the only one who realizes that this has all been so hard, and this has not been easy or...or happy." I have to stop talking because my throat tightens, my lip trembles, and tears threaten to poor down my face.

"Row...I can't promise you anything...but I'm trying...I'll try," He says not meeting my eyes.

"That's all I could ask from you," I say wiping away a stray tear.

I only haft meant that. There's a lot more I could ask from Lachlan that still wouldn't be too much to ask, but I settle for what I know is comfortable for him. I try to be understanding and realize that Lachlan is feeling pain too. But is he considering my pain? Surely, he is.

But will he ever understand it?
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Please read this author note!!!!

Hey, I'm sorry it took so long to update but I'm just really trying to put out something that is good and accurate to the characters. With this one it's hard because she's half Rowan half confused fuzzy Yarrow, I just don't want to make the characters completely different people, I want to do them justice.

I also just started doing my summer theatre program again so I've been a bit busy with that but I won't pretend hat those are actually taking up that much of my time, if I wanted to make time to write I would, it's just that when I'm not in the mood to write, I don't push myself, because if I do it will be crap.

Anyway, sorry for the wait I just wanted to explain that when I do take 2 week long breaks it's only because I'm trying to put out something I'm proud of, I would rather read a fanfic with 5 good chapters then one with 30 short crappy chapter (just saying.) Have a good day/night!