Elites of Eden: Yarrow Not Rowan

Chapter 7

"Oh," I say slightly shocked. "Oh, wow, I should have guessed... It is so nice to meet you-again," I say holding my hand out for him to shake. He shakes my hand as both of us sit again. Lachlan immediately rests his hand on my knee.

"It's nice to meet you too-again." Rook responds.

"So now that we've exchanged pleasantries, you can ask all the questions you like." Lachlan says glancing back and forth between me and Rook.

"Ok...um, I don't really think I have any." I say taking a hold of Lachlan's arm.

"Me neither....oh wait never mind, I have a good one." Rook says smirking at Lachlan, "are you two a thing now?" Rook asks. Lachlan smiles at me then shrugs, blushing. I open my mouth to respond with, 'yes' but some where in the back of my mind a see a flash of lilac, and I respond with,

"No...Lachlan and I are not in a relationship, I'm sure you know my story, so you know that I'm not in any place to share myself with another person...I mean I literally lost who I was completely, and I'm not using that as a metaphor, I lost myself, and being in a relationship would be so unhealthy for me, and would slow down the process of finding myself again tremendously. I'm honestly starting from scratch here. I'm growing a lot and I know we've all heard the expression 'grow together' but I'm honestly growing so much that I'm sure to be a different person by next week so...being in a relationship would end disastrously...I mean...once I know myself a little better, I'd love to explore a relationship with Lachlan but, that unfortunately won't be any time soon." I'm speaking so fast my brain doesn't shut off in time for me to shut up. This monologue leaves a very tense moment of silence throughout the room.

"There you have it." Lachlan says stiffly, removing his hand from my knee.

Lachlan and Rook talk for at least an hour after that, the whole time they try to include me in the conversation but I decide to keep my answers short because last time I opened my mouth I ruined the whole conversation. Honestly, why would I say that? I didn't mean it. Did I? I eventually end up putting my head on Lachlan's lap and pretending to be asleep.

"Hey, about earlier, I'm really sorry for asking that...I didn't expect her to say no, I saw you guys holding hands and stuff and I just assumed I'd be getting the good news," Rook apologizes.

"No, it's ok, I get it...she's right though...she has no idea who she really is, being in a relationship would be too hard." Lachlan says playing with my hair. "The only thing is...I tried to tell her that when she first came back... I told her that it wouldn't feel right but, she insisted that I was helping her...why get my hopes up?"

"I don't know...I wouldn't give up though...I can tell that she loves you more than you realize...patience is a good skill little brother...use it." Rook responds.

"We should probably head back home to the Underground," Lachlan says after a few more minutes of silence. Lachlan slowly shakes me awake, "Hey, we gotta go home." After a quick good bye I cling to Lachlan's arm as we start to walk home. We're almost home when I try to hold Lachlan's hand and he immediately jerks it away.

"Lachlan, don't be like that-"

"I was afraid of this, I never meant to put you in an awkward situation, where you felt like I was forcing myself on you, I get it if you aren't ready for a relationship-"

"I didn't mean it." I insist.

"Didn't you?" Lachlan snaps harshly. Tears fill my eyes.

"Lachlan-"

"I tried to tell you, I mean I tried but you just wouldn't listen, so once again we're talking about what you want, I told you this would happen, I told you we shouldn't be together but you just...wow...I must look like some fool." Lachlan says stopping in the road. Tears start to pour down my face.

"Man, you really had me fooled." I say thickly, glaring at Lachlan, this seems to catch his attention.

"What?"

"You heard me...you really had me fooled...here I was, thinking that you trusted me, but I guess I was wrong...you don't believe me when I say that I didn't mean it." I say whipping away my tears and looking evenly at Lachlan.

"Rowan, I didn't mean it like that, it's just-" Lachlan starts to say tenderly.

"You know what...you're right, I probably did mean it, I mean it made sense didn't it? I don't know who I am, I'm growing constantly, being in a relationship would only make things worse, the more I think about it, the more I meant it," I say this trying to get a reaction out of him, but I decide to give him just one more jab for good measure, "it was selfish of you to even try." As soon as the words leave my mouth I feel guilt. I didn't mean it!

"Let's go." Lachlan says harshly. I can tell he's furious at me and wants to storm away but I don't know my way home so he has to lead me. Lachlan takes off at a fast pace and I have to jog to keep up.

"Oh my god, Lachlan, I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"Let's go!" He says sternly raining his voice. I immediately start to feel tears trickle down my cheeks.

"Lach..."