Cover made by @moonraess. "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go." -Genesis, 28:15. Everyone dreads the words, "Your Mom's gone," but for Rachael Winters, this has become an unexpected reality. She has to deal with this at an early a...
"Say you will lay down beside me and Say you will just smile and kiss me and Say you will be holding me Like you used to do Cause I still love you." -Say You Will.
"Hope is seeing light in spite of being surrounded by darkness."
"Have hope, be strong, laugh loud and play hard, live in the moment, smile often, dream big, remember, you are loved and never, ever, give up."
"When there is no vision, there is no hope." -George Washington Carter.
I sat there in the hospital bed, holding a picture of Mom and I when I was a little girl:
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Every time I stare at it, I'm reminded of her, I thought. I'm reminded how much I miss her. I'm reminded how much I love her. I can still remember the last words she spoke: "I love you." Father gave her last rites shortly before she died. I need to get over this. I want to be normal. I need to be normal. For Robert, Steven, and Dad. For everyone. But I can't. Something's blocking me to be normal, but I don't know what it is. Maybe I should talk about this in group therapy. Ms. Kens will know what to do. She'll then talk to the group, telling what they think. I hope this works.
Ten minutes later, a nurse says, "Group therapy."
"Okay," I say, getting up from bed, "Coming, hold on."
When I'm done getting dressed, I sit in the chair assigned to me and listen to other people telling their stories. Here are their stories (as I hear them):
Nicole Jacks
Age: 17.
Reason for referral-Weight-89 or 90 lbs. Her father isn't in the picture; her mother divorced him because he was cheating on her with his coworker. They were arguing so much that her grandmother finally stepped in and said that it's time to think of hospitalizing Nicole. Will get out in a few weeks.
***
George Anderson
Age: 19.
Reason for referral-Weight-99 lbs. His sister had anorexia, thus enabling him to stop eating. His parent's decision was to send both him and his sister to the hospital.
***
Josephine Anderson
Age: 21
Reason for referral-Weight-87 lbs. Her mom had anorexia during pregnancy. She was born very premature (five months and two weeks). Didn't get enough nutrition during pregnancy (called pregorexia), and barely made it through the first three months of life due to the disorder.
***
John James
Age: 22
Reason for referral-Weight 78 lbs. His mom died and his dad dated a new woman, which made him very irate with his Dad, along with the loss of his mom, his appetite became less and less.
***
Important note: "0.3-0.4% of young women suffer from anorexia nervosa, while 0.1% of young men suffer from anorexia nervosa." -NED.org (National Eating Disorders).
Wow, I thought. I never knew men could suffer from this disorder. Very interesting.
When it came for me to talk, I said, "I think something's blocking me from eating."
"Why, Rachael?" Ms. Kens asked.
"We're so focused on 'the perfect body'. We see models in Amazing Starlets magazine or Diet, Go Thin! magazine and we're so obsessed about the women in the pictures that we lose touch in not only our bodies, but ourselves. I hate how people say, 'Oh my goodness, Rachael, you look so great!' or, 'Have you lost weight? I wish I could be that thin! I envy you, Rachael.' I detest people who say that. This is what's preventing us from eating, from being ourselves: people commenting on how thin we look. It's an eating disorder. It tricks our brains into thinking we're fat, but we're not. Yes, it will take a long time for us to recover, and we need to be prepared for that.We need to be prepared for anything."
"Very impressive speech, Rachael." Ms. Kens replied. "What do you think?
"I think Rachael should be a motivational speaker." Josephine replied. "That was superb, Rachael. You said how we feel."
"I second that." John chimed in.
***
After group therapy, a nurse weighed me. She said the most wonderful news:
"Rachael, you're being released today. You've reached your target weight: 110 pounds. Congratulations."
"Really?" I half screamed, half cried.
"Yes, really. Go pack your things. You're leaving tonight."
I wanted to spin like a top I was so ecstatic.
I'm finally free, I thought. Now, my life really begins.
A/N-625 reads and 365 votes. Wow. I'm flabbergasted. I never knew this book could get so much support in just--nearly--four months. Thank you so much. You're the best followers, voters, and commenters out there.
Chapter 23 is complete! I've decided to make this book 25 or 28 (or maybe) even 30 chapters, not 50. 50's too much (not counting the milestones, I have eighteen chapters). I think 30's a good number to end on. Don't worry, there'll be a little extra (including an introduction to the sequel and reveal of the sequel).
See you next week, and don't forget to vote and comment!
