Playing Heart Games

Level 53: Accept He's Moved On

VIOLET

Brandt drove me home half an hour after Axel and Brielle disappeared.

They were together. Alone.

I hated the images in my head.

"You're crying."

Brandt glanced over at me.

I blinked, rubbing my eyes. "I'm not."

His eyes tightened. He didn't respond.

I stared outside, at the mansions speeding by.

It had been silent for a while when I spoke. "Why do I bother Brielle?"

She'd seemed perfectly friendly. She always smiled at me.

I should have been happy for Axel. He was with someone kind. At least she wasn't like Dakota—cruel, manipulative.

And yet...at least, if it was Dakota I'd have a reason to hate their relationship. Now, the only reason I had was selfishness.

I wished he was mine, not hers.

"Axel cares about you."

I jolted. Then choked out a laugh. "Not anymore."

Brandt's eyes flickered to me. Then away. "Regardless. You bother her."

I shook my head.

Did she not like me because of how Axel used to feel about me?

Even if I did bother her, Brandt's actions still didn't make any sense. "She's your sister," I said. "Why would you want to hurt her?"

His hands tightened around the steering wheel. "She hurt someone I care about." His expression became icy, blisteringly cold. "Broke her."

His gaze was distant. As if he'd forgotten I was here.

"Do you want to do that to Axel?" I whispered.

The thought terrified me.

He blinked. He returned to normal. "Brielle doesn't need help breaking her toys. She prefers to do it herself."

The car stopped.

"We're here."

I looked up. The gate to Ken's mansion. I unlocked my seatbelt.

"Here." Brandt offered me a handkerchief.

I hesitated, then took it. "Thank you."

He didn't respond. I slipped out of the car.

He leaned out. "My family is having dinner with the Ryders next week. I need you to be there."

Pain crushed my lungs.

His family and Axel's. Which meant seeing Axel and Brielle together. Again.

"Okay," I rasped.

He nodded.

I watched his car disappear down the street.

I headed inside, exhaustion weighing down my muscles. The sound of laughter and voices drifted from the kitchen. Mom and Ken.

I didn't have the energy to pretend to be happy, so I made my way to my room without saying hello.

Axel was with Brielle now.

I didn't have the right to complain. Not after everything I'd said to him. Everything I'd done.

He'd moved on.

I should be happy because he was happy.

I pushed the door to my bedroom open, then jumped.

"What are you doing here?"

Alissa straightened. "I..." she swallowed. "I wanted to see how it went."

I blinked, then nodded. "It was fine."

Like having your head shoved underwater. Like trying to hold your breath and failing. Feeling your lungs fill with water. Choking for air. Not being able to fight back. That was exactly how it had gone.

She hesitated. "You look upset."

I shook my head. "Just tired."

She nodded, then headed towards the door.

I sat on my bed, trying to focus on the silk covers instead of the past hour. Instead of Brielle, smiling at Axel like he'd given her the entire world—

"I'm sorry."

I blinked, looking up. Alissa stood at my door, wringing her hands. I'd thought she left.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I'm sorry you have to do this. I'm sorry you have to go through this because of me—"

"It's okay—"

"No it's not!"

I stared.

She heaved in a breath. "Why are you like this?"

My brows furrowed. "Like what?"

"So perfect," she snapped. Her voice softened, "why are you being nice to me?"

I parted my lips to speak, then shut them.

This wasn't kindness. I wasn't being nice. This was selfishness. If that video came out, everything would fall apart again. I remembered her expression when her father had yelled at her. I remembered mom's expression when she'd found out the truth.

I didn't want to watch things go wrong. I couldn't handle the guilt.

An image of Axel—his face crumbling—filled my mind.

I was so tired of hurting people.

"I'm not," I whispered.

She shook her head. "Things would be so much easier if you weren't so selfless."

But I wasn't. I wasn't selfless.

"Why did you do it?" The question came out before I could stop it.

She blinked at me. "What?"

"You have—" I faltered.

You have everything.

But that wasn't true, was it?

"You didn't need to steal that necklace," I finally said. "So why did you?"

She shook her head. Her voice was a rasp, "It felt...good to do something that I knew would piss him off." She shrugged. "Even if he'd never find out." Her expression darkened. "It's so hard—pretending all the time. Trying to be perfect. Acting like I'm happy when I'm not."

"I know how that feels," I whispered.

Her eyes met mine.

A moment passed, and I realised that maybe we weren't so different.

Alissa cleared her throat. "I should go."

I nodded, standing. "Okay."

She gave me a small, quick smile, before slipping out of the room.