Oscar Glyde Won't Heal Your Pride

12: I Go When You Go

Chapter 12: I Go When You Go

[Back porch, Jakob's house, 7:54 PM, So Close, Yet So Far]

ABDUL: "Nah, I don't smoke anymore."

JAKOB: "What do you mean?"

ABDUL: "I mean what I mean."

JAKOB: "Which means?"

ABDUL: "That I don't want to get lung cancer when I'm forty-five, J. Get that shit away from me."

JAKOB: "You're not gonna get lung cancer."

ABDUL: "I'm not going to up the risk."

JAKOB: "When did you become such a prude?"

ABDUL: "Since I grew up a bit, dumbass. You should try it."

JAKOB: "Young, dumb and freedom, Abdul. Those are the three principles to teenage life."

ABDUL: "Those are the three principles to a sad stoner's life."

JAKOB: "Yeah. The three principles to teenage life."

ABDUL: (drinking from a Capri-Sun) "Whatever. So do you think Oscar's gay?"

JAKOB: "What?"

ABDUL: "Like, do you think he's gay? Oscar? Everyone says he is."

JAKOB: "I didn't know everyone says he is. Why does everyone say he is? Wait - why are we talking about this? I'm confused."

ABDUL: "It's just a point of conversation. Why? Is there something wrong with talking about whether or not someone's gay?"

JAKOB: (scrunching up his face in thought) "I mean... I think so, but I don't really care, either way."

ABDUL: "Why?"

JAKOB: "Because that's not my fucking life, man. I don't care about Oscar, man. I don't care about gay people."

ABDUL: "What do you mean you don't care about gay people? Are you homophobic?"

JAKOB: "Man, I don't know. I ain't homophobic. I don't really know what that shit means, to be honest. I don't know, man. There's too much of that shit going on these days. I can't keep track. The whole 'LGBTPRIQWEYZFEY' shit."

ABDUL: "You don't have to keep track to be a good person."

JAKOB: "Whatever. I'm a good person."

ABDUL: "Are you?"

JAKOB: "I think you need a cig."

ABDUL: "I don't. It was a legitimate question."

JAKOB: "My mama says if you're intention isn't to hurt no one, you're a good person. So I'm a good person."

ABDUL: "So you don't intend to hurt gay people?"

JAKOB: "No, I don't. Why single someone out because they suck dick?"

ABDUL: "What I don't understand is why straight guys are so threatened by gay guys. Like, if gay guys talk to straight guys or hit on them, the straight guys get so angry and feel so threatened. It's kind of fucked up. Like, isn't it a compliment when anyone hits on you? Plus, I think gay guys are so much nicer when it comes to flirting. They'll say you have pretty eyes. What girl tells a guy they have pretty eyes?"

JAKOB: "Victoria says I have pretty eyes."

ABDUL: "Victoria tends to pity people who aren't receiving enough love at home."