No Time To Heal [BTS J.Jk]

XII [A/N at the end]

The conclusion of the past hour: Billboard and the world are going to get their wigs snatched, and Jungkook did not catch anything else out of this whole 4-hour long conversation because he was once again spacing out.

Namjoon had said "That's it. Everyone is dismissed. Let's enjoy the rest of our day off." loud and clear, but he didn't even catch that.

He truly didn't catch anything but something Jimin had told him at the very beginning:

„Jungkookie! I listened to your cover and it was beautiful! But you could have....."

That's when his brain decided to take a break, take the next flight to Hawaii and never come back. Maybe send a postcard now an then.

I could have what? Wasn't it good enough? Had I made any mistakes? Haven't I looked through it careful enough? What went wrong? Where could I have made something better? I did my best... didn't I...?

While his hyungs already left for their rooms, Jungkook remained seated in the one place he never wanted to be left alone in.

He couldn't express what he was feeling. There were no words to describe all the sadness, emptiness, dissatisfaction, disappointment, frustration, and complete self-loathing he was feeling.

Why can't I do anything right?

Because you aren't as perfect as everyone thinks.

And there it was again. The horrific voice that followed him everywhere.

I was already wondering whether you muted yourself...

And there he was again, conversing with the voice like it was nothing.

I should give you a name.

You aren't in the right position to do so.

He wanted to spit back his reply but got interrupted by a phone. By his phone.

Jungkook hurriedly fished out of his phone and looked at the caller ID.

Junghyun Hyung

His eyes widen and he was quick to accept the call with shaking hands.

„H-hyung?"

„Ah! Jungkookie! Hey!"

„Why are you calling? You don't normally call me."

„Can't an older brother call his little baby brother?"

„..."

„Yeah ok, well. I was just visiting Seoul and wanted to ask you whether we could meet? I heard it's your day off and I haven't seen you for a while."

There was for sure another reason behind this. It was so obvious, so how did he not notice it in the first place?

„...well yeah,... but... do you mind coming to the dorm? I don't really feel like going outside today..."

No one needed to know that he was feeling insecure about going outside without his stylists help. He rarely goes outside nowadays.

"Well, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. See you then lil one!"

Junghyun hadn't even finished his sentence when he hung up.

Why would he even come here?

But of course, he didn't get any answers. Everything was so quiet. It's was nearly suffocating.