No Time To Heal [BTS J.Jk]

XXIV

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Hobeom hyung ordered a pretty fancy breakfast for them. Crêpes with whipped cream, berries and chocolate syrup, waffles with fruits, vanilla ice cream, and chocolate syrup and golden toasts with guacamole, cream fresh with scrambled eggs and bacon.

In all honesty, Jungkook would have been very much satisfied with a toast or some cereals. Maybe some banana milk too but nothing too fancy.

Why do people even eat fancy? Eating is eating, no matter what you eat. In the end, everything will end up the same: either pooped out or puked out. There is no point in eating anything fancy.

Even though he wanted to say something about it, he forced himself not to. The young singer didn't want to risk offending his manager, who was already eating his breakfast with an overly joyful expression.

Jungkook stared at his food while waiting for the time to go by faster. He couldn't wait for them to be able to board the plane. Even though he would most likely sleep through the whole flight to America, Jungkook still preferred to sit somewhere knowing that he wasn't being a burden.

Clearly, his manager will have to pay for the fancy breakfast Jungkook wasn't even going to eat. It was such a waste.

You are a waste.

Everything you do ends up being a waste.

Why do you even try?

He was so tired. So so tired. Tired of this. Tired of the stress. Tired of the voice. Tired of being an idol. Tired of being the Golden Maknae. Tired of being Jungkook.

Can't you just leave me alone? Is it so hard?

Defense. He gave up defending himself. What was the point anyway?

There is no point.

Whatever he said and whatever he did, the voice would always tell him he was wrong. He didn't do it well enough, or he was worth nothing. There was no point in fighting something that he didn't even understand. There was no point in fighting something that won't go away anyway.

„Jungkook-ah, why aren't you eating?" Hobeom asked as he glanced between the younger and his untouched food.

Jungkook just looked at him for a moment, weighing his possible responses before answering. „I'm not really hungry."

That was obviously a lie. His stomach was rumbling, and everything inside was churning.

He just couldn't live with the thought of eating fancy when people all around the world were starving.

And he couldn't eat much anyway. He always tried to avoid overeating because he didn't want to gain any weight. Especially not around this time when they were supposed to perform Fake Love on American Television.

This caused him to get used to small portions. His body can't take much food anymore. Even if he tried, Kook would just end up throwing up all the food. And that would be even more of a waste.

He continued staring down at his breakfast. The overly fancy food was obviously mocking him.

The young singer could have sworn that the food was talking to him. Saying stuff like 'you know you want to, just do it.'