Poker Face

Chapter 39 - Regret and Rehab

Aven stormed out of the Sanctuary and found an unoccupied spot in the yard where she could be alone and think. Negan hadn't hurt her physically but his force was uncalled for and hurtful in other ways. He went in ready to believe she'd betrayed him before giving her a chance to say otherwise, and he put his hands on her to scare her and make her regret what she hadn't even done. What would he have done if Dwight of all people hadn't stopped him? Would he have heard her out?

"You had me locked in because you knew I'd try to follow when I found out you went to Alexandria alone," Aven said, not turning to face Negan when he appeared behind her. She didn't hear him coming but immediately recognized the feeling of his presence. "I spent all night worrying about you and you came back and flipped at me."

"I'm sorry, Aven," Negan breathed genuinely, lost for other words. "I thought..."

"I know what you thought," she spat. "It's bad enough that you thought it, worse that you listened to that fucking asshole and then pushed me like that in front of everyone."

"Aven, I'm so sorry-"

"Dwight had to step in!" she continued without pause. "And he fucking hates me! He had to disobey your order not to interrupt and step in."

"I wasn't going to hurt you, you know that," Negan said softly.

"You weren't exactly going to have a rational conversation with me either," she replied steadily. "You didn't even wait to hear what I had to say.

"I was fucking wrong!" he replied desperately, throwing his arms open in surrender. "Aven, I'm so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have fucking touched you. I keep thinking about what you said about Daryl, and some shit went down at Alexandria and Rick fucking pissed me off and the thought of doing something good for that prick pisses me off even more. I was still thinking about it on the way back and then...I should not have fucking done that. I don't know what else to say but I promise you it will not fucking happen again."

"It better not," she hissed, tears returning to her eyes as she kept her back to him. He reached out and placed his hand on her arm but she quickly pulled away.

"Did you know Tanya was in love with you?" she asked suddenly, successfully pulling her tears back completely.

"Uhh...where did that come from?" he asked hesitantly, thrown-off by the sudden change. "Did she say that to you?"

"She basically said it to the whole room last night when she freaked out. Did you know she felt that way?"

"No, and she doesn't...didn't," Negan sighed. "She was just being difficult, trying to get her way. She wasn't cooperating, that's why you put her down."

"I put her down to put her out of her misery and to keep her from complicating things," she muttered the last part, having not realized that part of her reasoning until just then. She'd felt bad for Tanya in the moment and didn't want that feeling getting in the way of her relationship. "You said you let her believe she was a princess. She fell in love with you and you dumped her when I came along."

"Should I not have done that?" he asked.

"You should have done it better," Aven replied immediately. "I'm guessing she made her feelings known and you assumed she didn't mean it. 'Just being difficult,'" she repeated his words. "Fuck, Negan. There's no such thing as just being difficult. There's always a reason."

"And I'm the reason," he said grimly to clarify.

"I'm not accusing you of anything'" Aven continued. "But I want to know more about her and I want to know what I stepped in the middle of."