Poker Face

Chapter 53 - Day Off

That night, Negan was only slightly more settled than the night before. He didn't dream again about Aven dying, but he willfully lay awake for hours, focused acutely on the rise and fall of her breaths, her warm skin against his, the feeling of her hair under his fingertips. He wanted to savor every second he ever spent near her.

Early in the morning, before there was any sign of a sunrise, Negan felt Aven flinch in his arms, a gasp escaping her lips. She was tense but relaxed when she quickly remembered where she was. Negan didn't say a word as she carefully shifted in his arms onto her side and slipped her arm around his torso. With his hand on the back of her head, he felt her tilt her face upwards towards him and kiss him softly on the cheek.

"Hey, doll," he hummed quietly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she murmured, obviously half-asleep. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," he replied. "Bad dream?

"Bad dream," she confirmed. He gently massaged the back of her head and placed his lips firmly on her forehead, a soft but gravely sigh resonating in his throat. He hated that he couldn't make her nightmares go away. It hadn't seemed like much of a problem at first, although she did wake in a similar manner two or three times in her first couple weeks at the Sanctuary. But now they were getting more frequent, every night for a week so far. Negan felt guilty, wondering if they had been spurred by his temper when he blamed her for letting Daryl go. He needed to know what was going on with her and what he was doing wrong, but he couldn't expect her to articulate any of that in her current state.

"Go back to sleep, baby girl," he purred in her ear, knowing she wouldn't be able to stay awake anyway.

"I don't want to have another dream," she said, seemingly almost unconscious again.

"If you do, I'll still be right here when you wake up. Nothing can touch you; you're mine and I won't let anyone hurt you again."

"I'm yours," she repeated hazily, the words spreading a warm feeling through her chest. He was the only one she'd ever felt comfortable saying them to and it was a sentiment she previously never would have imagined herself finding comforting. It was comforting with Negan because it hadn't been forced, even though he was relentless in trying to get her. She had belonged to him before that, and not because he claimed her. Maybe she had always belonged to him.

Aven and Negan both woke a few times after the sun had risen, but after a quick glance at the other sleeping, went right back to sleep. It was almost noon when Negan awoke and couldn't quite get his eyes to stay shut. He began to carefully slip out from under Aven but she stirred. He froze, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head before realizing she was still fast asleep and moving her onto the bed beside him. He pulled on a t-shirt and his jeans and boots and silently left to get food for them.

He made his way down to the cafeteria, barely noticing the troves of people kneeling as he passed. Normally that gesture specifically would spur his grin and feed his ego, but it had lost its satisfactory nature. It only mattered anymore as part of a facade he was already abandoning little by little. With his mind already back up in his room with Aven as everyone stood up and went about their business, he was approached by Simon.

"Oh boss, good to see you," Simon began. "I started Eugene on production but there's a problem with one of the machines. He wanted to speak to you about-"

"Not today," Negan asserted again, stepping past the serving counter and into the kitchen, Simon trailing behind him.

"It won't take long to find what we need to fix it, a few hours maybe and-"

"Then do it," Negan said, turning to come face to face with Simon. "I didn't come down here to deal with everyone's little issues. I have bigger fucking fish to fry." He was continuously on edge over Alexandria, but it only frustrated him more that he was being interrupted on a day he was looking forward to spending with Aven. He figured once the Alexandrians got back on their feet, he might not have another chance for a while to devote so much time to her, and she needed him now.