Poker Face

Chapter 81 - Bless Me, Father, For I Have Sinned

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned...probably," Negan drawled with a lazy chuckle. "Any second now." Aven rolled her eyes from her hiding spot in the trunk. Only he would take such pleasure in the destruction he was about to cause.

You're taking pleasure in it too, hypocrite, she thought to herself. And it was true. Even now, even with a shitty feeling in the pit of her stomach over what they were about to do, she took pleasure in Negan's power, in the devious growl he spoke with, anticipating an absurdly easy victory. It was good to be on the winning side. After her ordeal before the outbreak, after feeling weak for so long, she was partially numb to human suffering. She saw it and denounced it, but she didn't have the same capacity for remorse that she used to; she didn't feel the guilt the way she knew she should. And she was thankful, because there was no other way things between Negan and her would ever work out otherwise.

Even so, his unholy confession was about to anger her.

"Those men I sent down that road a ways back?" he continued, explaining his plan that Aven had initiated. "They're setting up a roadblock with the dead, not knowing they'll be joining their cold asses any second."

Wait, what? she thought.

"I don't enjoy sacrificing my own people." Bastard, she thought as it became apparent he'd sent his men to die. Just like John F. fucking Kennedy.

She specifically laid out a plan where none of their people would get hurt, telling Negan that every Savior life lost after Alexandria's initial attack was his own fault, that he put them out there to die. She thought he had listened; she thought that she was getting through to him, that he was finally re-adjusting his view of human life to one that would better sustain his position as leader. But apparently not, yet he'd let her think he was following her plan.

"But those guys back there were with Simon at the dump," he continued. "Some of us had to take one for the team, it may as well be them."

"What do you mean?" asked Father Gabriel.

"Ricky was already slipped some intel to make him think he can get the jump on me, but it came from a less than reliable source and he knows that. If I were him I'd be scouting ahead. Taking out that little road block crew is gonna make him think he's got the real story, where I'll really be. They'll come to get me, but see, that's a trap. They'll find a map with the time and place I'll be, and they're gonna believe it because they will have killed all those poor bastards."

Normally, it wouldn't bother Aven that Negan was speaking as though this was a plan he'd devised himself. Afterall, he was the leader and she supported his guise of omnipotence and omniscience. But not only was he using her idea, he lied to her about it, hid the extent of the plans from her after pretending he was hearing her out. To say she felt betrayed was an understatement. Her heart dropped to her stomach, disappointment gnawing at her insides as she replayed Negan's words to her in her mind: The Saviors have two leaders now. It wasn't true. He hadn't learned anything.

"So that's your confession? That you're going to kill every last one of them?" Gabriel scoffed, horrified as though he'd expected better from Negan.

"Only the soldiers," Negan replied. "Only the ones who have taken up arms against me."

"But before you spoke as though you didn't want it to happen."

"It ain't about want, Gabey." That much was true. Part of him still wanted to end every last living soul behind the walls of the Hilltop. But he was doing the responsible thing as a leader, he thought. He was doing what Aven would approve of. For the most part. "But I'll make a little deal with you. You said you didn't want to die a fruitless death and I'm the fuckin' genie that's gonna make your want come true. You'll be the first to die, right in front of Rick's eyes. Your death will serve to remind people of the new world order. You're welcome in advance for that."