Poker Face

Chapter 77 - Hindsight

"I don't know what to do," Negan quietly admitted. "I don't know how to end this." He now sat in his desk chair with Aven in his lap, both naked except for the warm, fleece blanket wrapped around them, which they kept in the office expressly for these occasions. They'd been sitting in near silence, just enjoying each other's company until Aven broke the mood to turn back to business, as she was one to do.

"Kill Rick," she replied simply, her face nuzzled against his neck and her arms around his shoulders. She was eager to do what she could to help guide him through the end of this war. She wasn't sure what the best path was either, or rather she knew there was no right path to take in war. But she was resolved to find the way that would make their future the brightest, and that didn't mean an all-out slaughter. "And whoever else is a threat. Ezekiel, Daryl, Rosita..."

"The Widow," he grunted disdainfully. Aven glanced up at him, taking a second to fully turn herself to work mode. She knew there was going to be some disagreement over what to do and it looked like it was starting here.

"She's still pregnant," she muttered in careful protest. She herself was torn on what to do about Maggie. The woman was clearly a threat but Aven had to draw a line somewhere, and she couldn't even blame her for opposing Negan. He had, afterall, brutally killed her husband right in front of her, after telling her she looked like shit no less. Negan thought he had to kill someone for the actions Rick and his group took, and Aven didn't necessarily disagree with him there. What she disagreed with was the psychological torture he put them through that night, even if she did get a thrill from watching him. Death and loss were bad enough punishments; but the especially gruesome memory he gave them, the blood of loved ones being splashed across their faces, it was too much to call justice. It was quite literally overkill and now the Saviors were paying the price for it.

"I know, and don't think I'm going to be fuckin' proud of killing a pregnant lady. She won't get Lucille, I'll make it quick and clean." Aven had taken pity on Maggie from the beginning but that was because she didn't want the woman to lose her child. In this case, Negan thought, because of Maggie's own actions, she wasn't at risk of losing her child since they would both die. But he meant it when he said he didn't like it, and he also wasn't going to so blatantly disrespect Aven's wishes (he'd be much more discrete in disrespecting the things she suggested he do).

"Negan..." Surely, he could at least wait until the child was born.

"What?" he said tensely. He didn't want to be deterred and it was clear that's what she was trying to do. Sure, he asked her opinion, but he was kind of hoping her opinion would make him more sure of wanting to just kill everyone. He needed support now more than ever, with so few people left and his own morale shot from the betrayal of his men. When he didn't have Aven's enthusiastic support, he'd at least had Simon's. But then again, Simon was now dead for doing exactly what Negan was considering.

But it was people like Simon, people who didn't follow the rules, that made it so Negan had to kill them all.

"Do you really want to be responsible for killing an entire family?" Aven angled, knowing outwardly telling him he was wrong wouldn't work.

"No, I don't. But I do what I have to fuckin' do and a I'd appreciate if you didn't try to fuckin' guilt trip me."

"But you don't have to-"

"You said yourself when all of this started, if someone killed the man you loved in front of you you'd stop at nothing to get revenge. You think she's going to lie down and get in line?"

"No, but there has to be another way." She had his face cradled in her hands now and as much as he knew he needed to focus on the life-or-death situation at hand, he couldn't help but let his eyes wander to fixate on her breasts, bare and pushed together with the way her arms were positioned.