Kiss Me or Don't

Robin Hood AU

"Richie Hood, one of the most wanted robbers in the kingdom. He's lucky the prince hasn't taken his head." Friar Ben said chuckling. Richie came out from behind a tree.

"We don't say rob Friar, we borrow." Richie said chuckling. Stan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You truly are an inspiration." Mike, one of Richie's Merry Men, said. Ben and Stan agreed. Stan then smirked and grabbed one of the sheets. He put it over his head and waltzed over to Richie.

"Oh Richie you sweep me off my feet." Stan said in a squeakier voice. Mike started laughing.

"Oh fuck off." Richie pushed him. Stan gasped in offense.

"Is that a way to treat the prince?" Richie rolled his eyes.

"You're nothing like him. He's amazing, sweet, kind, and I just wish I could go back to when we were kids." Friar Ben patted him on the back. Richie smiled at him.

"You'll see him again Richie. I bet he loves you just the same." He smiled making his cheeks puff up a little.

"Yeah and then you can sweep him away and ride off into the sunset." Stan said and put the sheet back on his head.

"Take me away Richie Hood, take me away." He said again in his squeaky voice. Richie pushed him away again.

"You're such a pain." Richie said laughing. Friar Ben made a noise and everyone looked at him.

"I totally forgot! Prince John is having an archery contest!" He coughed out. Stan nudged Richie.

"Richie could beat all those fuckers with one stretch of his bow!" Stan proclaimed and Richie chuckled.

"You flatter me Little Stan but I don't think we're invited." Richie added and yawned, stretching.

"Well there's going to be someone who'll be disappointed to not see you there." Friar Ben said and coughed again.

"Aww yes! Ol' Bushel Britches himself, the honorable Sheriff of Nottingham," Mike commented and then giggled.

"No no, Prince Eddie." Richie's breath hitched in his throat. Stan looked at him worried.

"Prince Eddie?" Richie said excitedly. "Come on Little Stan! What are we waiting for?!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, that place will be crawling with soldiers!" Stan said angrily and Richie appeared on a pedestal above the camp.

"Aw, but remember! Faint hearts never won fair princes!" Richie said in a matter-of-fact tone. Stan chuckled.

"A disguise!" Richie said excitedly and jumped down. He grabbed a shirt and a hat. Friar Ben spoke up.

"The winner gets Eddie's hand in marriage." Richie fainted and Stan caught him.

"Too much for him?" Stan shook his head.

"He'll wake up." Richie snapped awake and jumped up.

"WE'RE GOING! YOU TOO STAN! AND YOU MIKE!" Richie pointed to them as he said their names.

"Disguises boys."

✖️

"You asked for me?" Eddie sweeped into the King's chambers. Prince John was already there and turned around.

"Ah yes, Prince Eddie. I have decided to hold a contest for your hand." The Prince said. Eddie felt his heart break.

"Excuse me? King Richard said I could-"

"He's dead." Prince John snapped and Eddie staggered.

"Now if you'll excuse me I have an event to plan and a robber to catch." Prince John said and walked out. Eddie started crying and fell to his knees.