The bad girl and the dork

We were having a Full House moment

My legs had carried me all the way to my thinking spot.

I was panting and sweaty. I guess I'd been running. I wouldn't know. I didn't remember how I got there. It was like my body knew what I needed and took over when my mind couldn't. I guess I should've been grateful for that.

As I was climbing on the little hill to get to my usual spot, the fight kept replaying in my head. Over and over and over.

It had been a short fight but a hurtful one all the same.

The way Chase had looked. I'd never seen him angry before.

I plopped myself down on the grass. It was still a little wet because of the rain, but I didn't care.

Alright, thinking spot. Do your thing.

I usually go here frustrated and get my thoughts in order so I could return home as a calm person. This time, my thoughts were jumbled and they remained that way.

A sob escaped. I felt my cheeks, they were wet. I felt so numb that I didn't even know I was crying.

Crying like a little baby. Shit Jill, that's just weak.

Get it together.

A voice in my mind was telling me to focus on other things, distract myself. But that'd be the same as running away.

Yes, run away from this too. I guess that's what you do, right?

Chase's words echoed in my mind.

Fuck him.

"Fancy seeing you here." A familiar voice said. Code plopped himself down next to me and scrunched his nose when he noticed the grass was wet.

"Did you follow me?" I was surprised to see him. Nobody ever came here.

"What? I can't visit a pieceful place were junkies like to shoot their heroine? You're not the only one that comes here to think." Code explained.

"This is your thinking spot? I've never seen you here." I didn't believe him. This was too much of a coincidence. I figured he'd followed me.

"It is. It was, I mean. I'd seen you here a while ago and guessed you needed this spot more than I did." This was the Code I didn't get to see often. The sweet Code. It almost reminded me of Chase.

Almost.

"Why didn't you come up to me?" He'd seen me sitting here alone and decided to walk away. Truth is, I came here to be alone, but he didn't know that.

"Thought you wanted to be left alone." He shrugged. I hadn't given Code enough credit, he knew me better than most people.

"What's different this time?" If he knew this was my thinking spot and I wanted to be left alone, he should've left me alone now.

"Because this is about two people I love." He said honestly. Tears were forming again. They were already rolling down my face before I could blink them away.

"Oh." I whispered. Not really knowing what to say to that. Not really trusting my voice either.

We stayed quiet for a while. Just looking in front of us, not really seeing.

I wasn't thinking anymore. Just staring. My mind drained from the constant loop that had been playing in my head.

You're just a scared little girl

The empty feeling came back. Although I wasn't sure if it had ever left.

I saw Code moving in the corner of my eye.