Accepting ✔️

Chapter Ten: Who Do You Like?

Word Count: 1100
Trigger Warning: Self Harm
Marked with *TW*

Tweek's POV
I felt like a zombie when my clock went off. I didn't sleep, but once I found myself accepting that I couldn't change my sexuality, I was at least able to calm down and focus on reruns of Terrance and Philip on my phone.

[Me watching South Park at 3am. I'll go.]

I'm not ready to accept my death by homosexuality. I look down at my arm, running my fingers over the scars. I made a promise to Craig.

I told him I wouldn't cut my arms anymore. I know that I shouldn't do it, but it's so tempting. I sighed and looked down at my thigh. Craig can't check there.

I never promised not to cut my legs.

But, Craig, he'll be mad at me.

In the long run, he will only hurt me, just like everyone else.

*TW*

Before I can change my own mind I find myself in the bathroom with a switchblade positioned over my thigh.

It cut deep into my leg. It hurt like hell, way more than my arm.

*TW END*

I sigh at myself, disinfect the wound, and put a gauze over the soon-to-be scar. I walk back into my room and rummage through the closet. I find a random oversized, forest green hoodie and throw it over my head, along with some black skinny jeans. I then pull on a pair of socks and black converse.

I made myself a thermos full of coffee downstairs and looked down at my phone.

7:38 [am]

I have two minutes before I have to walk to school, so I pick up my bookbag and say goodbye to my mum.

The kids that ride on the bus don't have to leave this early, but I don't want to take my chances on wether I die or survive, especially since everyone already thinks I'm gay. As I walk out, I remember that Craig lives beside me.

Should I go over to his house? I'm going to his house.

And with that, I found myself in front of Craig's door. I knocked on the door and fumbled with my backpack strings.

"Ruby, don't answer that!" I heard Craig yell. It's weird to hear someone yell, but still be so monotone. A girl in around 5th grade opened the door shoving her middle finger towards the stairs. I'm assuming that it was directed towards Craig. "Goddamnit, Ruby."

I'm also going to assume that Craig flipped her off too. The girl I'm assuming is Ruby turned her attention to me and glared. "What do you want?" Her voice was about as monotone as Craig's, but higher in pitch.

"Oh, I Uh, I was wondering if Craig was here." Idiot. Of course, he's here; you just heard him yell at Ruby. Whoops. "I mean- if he wanted to walk to school with me."

"Tweek?" I heard his confused voice walk down the stairs with only his pants and socks on. I felt my cheeks get warmer.

"He's not ready yet, Cutie." The little girl said with a more annoyed face. Craig shut the door quickly in surprise. Did she just call me cute?

I spun back around and was about to walk away in defeat but it wasn't hard to hear-

"RUBY!" Craig screamed at his little sister before opening the door. "Sorry." He chuckled nervously.

"DID YOU JUST LAUGH?" I heard Ruby scream and walk back into the room. She walked towards us with the most confused face I've ever seen someone pull in my life. "How did you do that?" She pushed an accusing finger to my chest, pushing Craig aside.

"Huh?"

"Ruby, go back to eating your stupid breakfast." Craig was monotone again.

"Hmph." She crossed her arms and walked back into their kitchen.

"What did you want again?"

"Huh? Oh uh- I wanted to ask if you wanted to walk to school with me."

"Oh. Uhm, yeah sure, give me a second." He said, shutting the door in my face again.

When he opened back up, he was pulling a hoodie over a NASA shirt. He grabbed his hat from the table and put it over his uncombed hair while he walked outside and mounted his bookbag on his back.

I chuckled at his rushed actions, and he glared at me, "What?"

"Oh, nothing." I smiled rocking myself back and forth on his front steps. "Let's go."

We walked out and onto the sidewalk to school.

"Wait." He stopped in his tracks and grabbed my arm.

I felt my cheeks get warm again. "Yes?" I asked sweetly.

He pulled me over to the side of a house. I held my breath, but he surprised me. He pulled my sleeves up and started counting my scars. He was checking if I had cut. I let out the breath. "One, two, three... fourteen, fifteen." He grabbed my left arm, "One two, three, four... sixteen, seventeen, eighteen." He looked up at me, his eyes hinting at gratefulness. "Thank you."

I smiled while I pulled my sleeve back down. I felt guilty, but knowing that I made him happy by not cutting my arms almost made me feel happy.

"Let's keep walking; we're already going to be late at this point." He said as he started walking forward. Oh geez, we're going to be late. I can't take all of those eyes looking at us.

We chatted the entire way there.

"So, who do you like?" He asked. I froze but quickly realized the situation we were in and kept walking.

"I uh, I actually don't have a crush yet. I haven't seen any girls I liked." I put the emphasis on girls to make my point clear.

"Oh, you like girls?" He asked. This time I actually froze.

"W- What?"

"I thought you were more into dudes." He chuckled. He realized that I had stopped walking and turned around looking at me, confused.

"Oh, I- uh- I- What makes you say that?"

"I don't know; I just had a hunch, I guess." I still stood unable to move. "What's wrong?"

"I Uh- n-n-nothing."

"Really? Cause you're stuttering." He said looking worried. "You stutter when you're anxious."

"I uhm, I- I- I'm st- Stra-" I couldn't even get the words out. Now he'll know that I'm actually gay, and then he'll realize-

"Tweek?" He looked confused before I felt myself lose balance and fall to the ground.

A/N: Oh wow this chapter kind of sucked. Sorry about that! Sorry for reposting, I had some technical difficulties. Still leave a vote maybe? Have a wonderful day and don't do anything really stupid.

~Beru <3