Accepting ✔️

Chapter Eleven: Fags!

Word Count: 1100
Trigger warning: mention of abuse, homophobic slur, panic attacks

Craig's POV

"I thought you were more into dudes." I chuckled and bit my tongue. Tweek had stopped walking. I felt kind of heartbroken. Maybe he's homophobic? I kept my cool and tried my best to keep my face as monotone as possible.

"Oh, I- uh- I- What makes you say that?" He seemed more nervous than before.

"I don't know, I just had a hunch, I guess." He didn't say anything and wouldn't move from his spot. "What's wrong?"

"I- Uh- n-n-nothing."

"Really? Cause you're stuttering." I tilted my head. He's homophobic. That's gotta be it. No one would react that irrationally if they weren't homophobic. I continue, "You stutter when you're anxious."

"I uhm, I- I- I'm st- Stra-" He sounded almost disgusted with me as he was trying to get his words out.

"Tweek?" I saw his eyes roll to the back of his head and I acted quickly, grabbing him before he hit his head on the ground. "Tweek?"

He didn't speak. His eyes remained closed, and his breath was rapid as if reaching for air.

I knew what was happening. He was having a panic attack. A panic attack because I thought he liked boys.

I only knew one way to stop panic attacks. Ruby has panic attacks often because of dad. When he got home, he would do his best to make sure we weren't awake. If we were, he would beat us silly. If we weren't he would take our phones and search through them for any signs of us trying to tell someone about his abuse towards us and mum. We knew better than to text someone that serious of an issue, no matter the person.

I sat on the ground, crossing my legs. Holding him up to lay on my chest, I let him hear my heartbeat.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. I'm here, you're okay, calm down." I whispered as the school bus passed by us.

"Fags!"

"Fuck off, Fatass."

"Shut up you dumbass Jew!"

I didn't pay much attention to them and kept trying to calm Tweek down.

I felt his breath steady slowly, and his eyes started to open up. He took in his surroundings slowly before realizing that I was holding him and calming him down.

"C-Craig?" He was still stuttering but he wasn't jumping out of my arms or anything. He looked back at my face and into my eyes. I could sit and watch his eyes for the rest of my life and never get bored of their glossy emerald colour.

"H-Hi." That's all I could mutter out. I could feel my cheeks getting warmer, but hopefully, he would just pass it off as me getting cold, "You were having a panic attack and I wanted to calm you down."

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

We were both blushing pretty hard at this point. He looked almost like a Gala red apple and I imagine I looked more like a Coca-Cola can. There was a long silent pause.

"Well, thank you." He stood up and pulled me up by my hand, "Would you mind telling me what we were talking about?"

"Maybe I can tell you later. For now, we should probably get to school."

"School?! Oh god, we're going to be so late! I'm gonna get in trouble and then my parents are going to yell at me and I won't be able to talk to anyone of my friends for a week or more and well I guess I don't really have any friends but-"

"TWEEK."

"Huh?" He looked over at me.

"Stop, you're going to give yourself another panic attack."

"Oh, Sorry. I can't help it. It just kinda happens sometimes."

"And what do you mean you have no friends? What am I? A brussel sprout?"

"Oh sorry. I guess I'm just not very used to having any friends."

"Is that why one of your triggers is 'I hate you?'" I but my lip when it came out of my mouth. I didn't want him to have another panic attack.

"Calm down."

"Huh?"

"You look like you've saw a ghost, I'm not gonna have another panic attack. You're just mentioning it. The reason I had a panic attack before is that you said it like you meant it."

Relief instantly flushed through me. I remembered how I said it to him. "I'm sorry," I started, "I just want you to know that I didn't actually mean that. I was just under pressure and I was getting angry at Token and Clyde. I'm sorry that I took it out on you."

"No, it's okay. The truth comes out when you're under pressure."

"What? That's not true at all. Haven't you noticed that I don't show any emotion around anyone, but you? You're changing me, I think, in a good way."

I knew the reason that I was so emotionless wasn't that I wanted to, it was because I was forced to. You need to do that when you have a dad like mine. He doesn't care about family. He's a homophobic asshole who abuses my family while he's drunk and forgets while he's sober.

Through my thought, I didn't realize that Tweek had stopped walking once again.

"Tweek?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just got caught up in my thoughts again."

Tweek's POV
"No, it's okay. The truth comes out when you're under pressure."

"What? That's not true at all. Haven't you noticed that I don't show any emotion around anyone, but you? You're changing me, I think, in a good way."

I'm changing him. In a good way? I felt my feet stop and the butterflies in my stomach double in quantity, all of them moving at the same time.

I was changing him. Bringing out his emotions, and he was changing me. He was helping me stop all of the lying I did. He was trying to help me not cut anymore. He asked me to promise him something. I didn't keep that promise.

"Tweek?" He was farther ahead of me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just got caught up in my thoughts again."

"Oh."

We finally arrived at school.

A/N: I would like to point out that I tend to have panic attacks and this is what normally happens to me. I know everyone's experience of anxiety and panic attacks are different, but I'd rather write about something I know can happen than something that is complete fiction and doesn't come out the way I want it to. Sorry if this offended you in any way. Leave a vote?Have a wonderful day and don't do anything really stupid.

~Beru <3