Autho : @cremsicle
[Summary]
Your summary is decent, it could flow a bit better and has some mishaps with punctuation. Consider rereading it out loud.
[Plot]
•your plot is loosely based off of Snow White which means it's a pretty well-known story and it's repetitional. Since you don't have much room to change the problem you can use your leverage in other ways.
• Work on your descriptive language you TELL us that Seokjin desires to be beautiful but we don't FEEL why.
Questions to consider
•What does beauty mean to him?
•Why does he need it?
•Does it validate him to hurt his own brother?
•And as for Taehyung how does he feel being the victim?
•How does the betrayal hurt him?
•How does it change him?
•How does Taehyung feel about his own beauty?
•I don't know if third person was the best choice because it limits the characters inner-thoughts and multiple points of views could have given us that perspective. But you can use third person to bring out that perspective although it won't be as open as multiple points of views.
[Cover]
•I like the cover because Taehyung is breathtaking, but considering it's more so of a rivalry between the two it would seem as though they should both be on it. It'll give the readers more insight.
[Others]
•Overall this book is something I would like to read. I just wish there was a lot more depth to it since beauty can be such a longing thing. I feel as though it's missing a lot of emotion and it's going by so quickly.
•it's a good story and has a lot of potential
Overall: 7/10
Thank you, hope this was of any help 💗
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Randoma review book from a writer to other writers 🍂 Only accepting fan fiction. All reviews are honest ,not extremely harsh but I give constructive criticism! Could be long wait times - Currently Accepting - Hold 🕊
