Author: @-irenebae
[Summary]
The quote is fine, try to expand the summary and elaborate, telling the characters names Is not so much telling your plot since this is fan fiction don't be afraid to use her name.
[Plot]
• the plot is common, but as always common is not a bad thing because as a writer you have the ability to create your characters differently and use your writing style to portray the story the way you desire.
[Format+Grammar]
• the format was good for the most part. I like the media that you use on some chapters. Adding a banner or header would be alluring too.
•You have quite a few run on sentences where you should use more punctuation, and a lot of sentences could be changed to flow easier.
EX: "Today she would move from her parents apartment to live on her own, her parents always insisted she should live her life independently—but that's not what she wanted"
• You use a lot of the same words. Try searching for synonyms so everything doesn't sound super repetitive.
• You have some misspelled words as well. I always recommend using Grammarly, an app you download on your phone or search engine for free it automatically checks and corrects our mistakes
[Cover]
• I enjoy the cover, it's pretty simplistic but it fits the theme.
[Others]
• Overall you are off to a good start, I think you need to focus on developing a writing style and read each chapter throughly to make sure the flow is well.
•Developing your characters is something you could work on too. Especially their appearance and their mannerism.
•Writing in third person often hinders inner thoughts so use different techniques to express emotion.
Overall: 7/10
Thank you! Hope this was any help. 💗🍒
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Randoma review book from a writer to other writers 🍂 Only accepting fan fiction. All reviews are honest ,not extremely harsh but I give constructive criticism! Could be long wait times - Currently Accepting - Hold 🕊
