Book Reviews | closed

bangtan ³

Arilezx

[Summary]

    • The summary is simple but it fits the plot.
Could be more alluring and descriptive.

🕊 20/30

[Plot]

    • I like this plot. It's different and sad, but really sweet at the same time. It's heartbreaking to think of bangtan having disbandment and the part with Jin really got to me.

🕊 28/30

[Format+Grammar]

    • you've had quite a few grammar mistakes which made it hard for me to read thoroughly and due to the book being complete you should edit to make it easier for future readers.

One thing I've noticed is that you tend to overuse the word And. I particularly feel the urge to not use And to begin a sentence it's almost relative to using but to me. Though in informal writing there are no rules as to starting a sentence with And you should keep it to a minimal.

"Sunday's are usually meant for enjoyment and laughter. And not meant for silent tears and mute sobbing"

Here I feel that the sentence overall could be improved. The And seems to break the fluidity. Also silent and mute are similar so you don't have to use mute before sobbing

"Sunday's are usually meant for enjoyment and laughter, not for silent tears and sobbing"

Mostly I feel that And isn't needed in most places you include it.

🕊 15/30

[Cover]

• Pretty simple, not much to say

🕊 8/10

[Others]

• Your story is a very good concept, The emotional and descriptive elements are there. All that is needed is some serious editing and formatting.

• Reread your story out loud. If anything feels uncomfortable with the flow, don't be afraid to rearrange the sentence structure because more than likely it's probably uncomfortable to the readers as well. (I've had this problem too.)

Overall: 7.1/10

Thank you for requesting! 💓