LOVEHATE

8

"Saaaadie! I'm home, and I brought Starbucks!" Lillian called as she got home mid-morning from Owen's.

I came out of my room, happy to take a brief break from studying, and sat down at the dining room table. I winced as I made contact with the wooden chair.

"What was that look for?" Lil asked as she handed me my caramel macchiato.

"What look?" I asked innocently.

"Like you're in pain."

I bit my lip, hesitating before answering. "It just hurt to sit down."

"Why would it- OH MY GOD- did Shawn do that to you?" she squealed.

"Let's just say he's above average in size, stamina, and skills," I said as I sipped my hot drink. We'd gone at it multiple times last night, leaving me somewhat raw.

"So I guess you don't hate him as much as you did," she said with a smile.

"Naw. I still hate him. I have to give him credit for the sex, though. I worry he's ruined me for all other men. No one is going to compare."

She wagged a finger at me. "Shut up with this hating him stuff. You can't hate someone and have amazing sex with him."

"When we're having sex, we aren't talking. We can't argue or annoy each other. You saw us last night at your dinner party. We cannot get along. Sex is the only time we do," I explained, pretty much echoing what Shawn had said to me the night before.

"I think you and Shawn are made for each other. One day you'll realize it and fall in love!"

I gave Lil a death stare. "You need to get that nonsense out of your head. It's hate-sex. That's it."

"You are both completely nuts if that works for you. Do you not see that?"

When I explained it to her out loud, I understood how it sounded fucked up. Last night, before I gave in to my urges, I was thinking about how wrong it all was, too. But there was something about the way he looked at me that made me think with something other than my brain.

"It's not happening again. It's almost Christmas, and I'll be going home to Ottawa. He goes on tour after that. So yeah, maybe it was nuts, but it only happened twice," I said.

Actually 'it' happened more than twice, but that wasn't the point.

I went back to studying since I had to leave for work in a few hours. I spent the next week cramming so that I could do well on my finals. Which I did. I finished the semester with mostly A's. I did get one B in a computer engineering class, which bothered me. I was doing better than many of my peers in my major, but I always set high standards for myself.

Lil and I decided to stay in Toronto until Sunday to unwind after finals. My parents were only mildly irritated that I wasn't hurrying right home. I'd be there for three weeks, and surely they'd get sick of me. They could wait two extra days. The only downside to staying was that I got less time with my little brother.

On Saturday night, we went back to Cube, the same club we'd gone that first night I'd hooked up with Shawn. It was just me, Lil, and Owen, so we didn't try to get VIP seating. Instead, we grabbed a table between the bar and the dance floor.

We'd Ubered over, so I was up for some serious drinking after finals week. When the waiter approached us, I took charge.

"Bring us 9 Cuervo Gold shots with salt and limes, please," I said as I pulled out my credit card.

"Actually, make that 12," a voice behind me said, "and they're on me."

I watched as Shawn sat down next to me after giving the waiter his card, which was one of those black credit cards only the very rich have. I put my regular old Visa away.